Day Twenty-Two

Today is Thanksgiving. That means that today I'm going to talk about the very most important thing in my life. Even more important than my daughter, or my husband. This is the one thing, the one person, who defines my life. Everything I do, everything I believe, everything I am is colored by this one person. Ben and Evie are at the center of my heart, but the absolute center is occupied by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

It's tough, sometimes, explaining to Evie why I love Jesus more than her and Daddy. She doesn't like thinking that she's only number three in my life, even though I explain to her that I know hundreds of people and number three is very good! And some people might think I'm wrong to put the Savior before my own husband. But the fact of the matter is, my husband does the same thing. Christ is number one for him as well, and that's part of why I love Ben so much. If he didn't have the relationship with the Lord that he does, he wouldn't be the man I love. His life, just like mine, is defined by his relationship with God.

The easiest way to look at it is like this: If my husband wanted me to do something that goes against what God wants me to do, what would I choose? And the answer is that I would side with God, even if it means going against Ben. That's how I know that Jesus is the most important person in my life.

Fortunately for me, of course, Ben would always side with the Savior as well. So it's not a decision I'll ever have to make.

And as much as Ben adores me, loves me, and would do anything for me, the Savior loves me even more. And He already did everything for me. He suffered incomprehensible pain, pain that He never needed to feel of his own volition because he was free of sin. It was my pain, pain that I earned through my own bad choices. Pain that would have destroyed me. He took that pain upon Himself, and suffered it for me, so that I wouldn't have to. And He didn't just do it for me, He did it for every single person who ever has or ever will live on this earth. Can you imagine what incredibly awful suffering that must have been? I can't. I can't begin to understand what He felt in those moments. But I know that it's greater suffering than any mere mortal could possibly endure. And Jesus did it because of His love for me, for you, for all of us. He didn't deserve that pain. He was perfect! He never needed to know what it felt like. But the only way that we could be saved and return to heaven was for Him to make that sacrifice for us. We're not strong enough to do it ourselves. So He did it for us. He did it for love.

There's a musical allegory that I listen to on Sundays called "The Garden." And in that show, there's one song where Christ is suffering in the garden of Gethsemane. That's when He took all of the pain from the sins of the world upon Himself - we call it the Atonement. And there's a gardener (representing the prophets) looking on, wishing he could help somehow. He sings this line, which touches my heart every time I hear it: "Could we be truly worth such grief and pain?"

We're not. That's the thing. We're so unworthy of God's love. But He gives it to us anyway! As awful and sinful and unworthy as we are, God loves us beyond comprehension. We are His children, and He loves us with the perfect love of a perfect parent, a billion times over. And that's why Jesus suffered for us. He paid the price for our sins so that we could repent and have it be as though our sins never happened. Why? So that eventually we could return to our Father in heaven, and be with Him again.

Aside from that personal sacrifice of the Savior's, He has blessed me in countless ways throughout my life. I have a husband and daughter that I know I don't deserve. I have parents and siblings who show me such love and support that I know I can turn to them any time, no matter what. I live in the greatest country in the world, where I enjoy freedoms that people in other places can only dream about. I'm a member of Christ's church here on the earth, one with a living prophet (just like in Biblical times) and the Savior at its very head. I have the priesthood in my home. I'm sealed to my family in heaven as well as on earth, so I know I can be with the people I love most for all eternity. Basically, every good thing in my life is a gift from God. As undeserving as I am, He has blessed me enormously.

All I can do in return is try to live my life the way God wants me to. I'm not perfect, and I have a long way to go, but I'll keep working on that throughout my life. I want to become the woman God wants me to be. I want to be kinder, more charitable, more selfless, more honest, more like the Savior. And He has given me everything. The very least I can do is obey Him in everything that He asks me to do.

Some people think my religion is weird. They don't understand why we don't drink coffee, or play sports on Sundays. They think our chaste relationships before marriage are outdated and unrealistic. They don't understand why so many of our young men and women are willing to give up two years of their lives to serve missions. The list goes on and on.

The fact of the matter is, we owe God everything. And whatever He asks us to do, no matter how strange it may seem, we're going to do it. We can't see the big picture. Our perspective is so limited. So we have faith that what God asks us to do is right, and we put our trust in Him. He has a reason for everything he asks of us. Just because we don't know what it is, doesn't mean there isn't a reason. Back when we received the revelation in the 1800s that we shouldn't drink alcohol or use tobacco products, there was no information on how those things negatively affect the human body. No one understood why God was asking it of us. But they had faith that God knew what He was doing, and they abstained from alcohol and tobacco. Now, more than a hundred years later, we know about lung cancer and alcoholism and the damage that tobacco and alcohol do to the human body.

God knew those things all along.

So whatever He asks of me, I'm going to obey. I don't always understand, but often when I decide to have faith and obey, I receive some understanding. And when I don't, I just continue forward in the faith that God has a plan. He knows what He's doing. And when I obey, I can see the blessings pour down on me. I have so much joy in my life, and I know that joy comes from obedience to the Lord. So, people can look at me and think I'm weird. They can insult my religion, call me names, or roll their eyes. I have seen God's hand in my life. I have seen the results of faith. I have developed a personal relationship with my Savior, and I recognize the sacrifices He has made for me. I cannot, and I will not turn my back on Him. That would make me ungrateful indeed.

I love my Savior, and my Heavenly Father. They're one in purpose, so when I talk about my Savior being the center of my heart I'm also talking about my Heavenly Father. They work in perfect unity to bless us, help us, and uplift us. I have a testimony of their reality. I'm grateful that they have given us a living prophet on the earth, who receives revelation and teaches us what God wants us to do. I'm grateful for personal revelation as well, and for the scriptures and for prayer, which often bring that personal revelation about. I'm grateful that I can talk to my Heavenly Father on a daily basis, and receive answers in return. And more than anything, I'm grateful for the Atonement that Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, which makes it possible for me to return to my Heavenly Father if only I'm willing to repent and forsake my sins, and which allows me to be with my family forever.

If you have any questions about the LDS faith, you can go here and anonymously browse and receive answers to common questions. There's a lot of misinformation out there in the world, but everything on this website comes from faithful members of the church, and is factual as to what we really believe. If you want the real info on Mormonism, I encourage you to check out this website. And if you'd like to start with my page, you can click here.

Have a wonderful thanksgiving, and remember that all of your blessings come from the Lord!