Day Eleven

This morning while I was in the shower, I was listening to my Sunday playlist on my iPod. It's got songs from The Garden, Women at the Well, Prince of Egypt, and an assortment of hymns and such.

The opening song from Prince of Egypt is playing ("Deliver Us"), and as I was listening to Moses's mother sing about putting him into the river with the prayer that he would live, I found myself getting very emotional.

As a Latter-Day Saint, I believe that the Bible is a real account of people who really lived a long time ago. I believe that Moses was a real person, and that his mother really did put him in the river to try and save his life.

As a mother, I can imagine how much heartache she must have felt in this situation. A good mother wants to keep her baby close and protect him. But by keeping him close, Moses's mother would have been sentencing him to death at the hands of Pharoah's men. The only chance she had to save his life was to let him go. She put him in a basket, sent him down the river, and prayed that someone would find him who could keep him alive.

What an amazing and courageous woman, to do such a thing! Only with God's reassurance could she have had any hope that Moses would live. And faith can be so hard to hold on to in perilous times. But she did it. She had faith, she received a prompting from God that helped her know what needed to be done, and she acted on it. I have no doubt that Satan was in her ear, whispering all the odds of her baby drowning or being eaten by crocodiles. But she did what she knew the Lord wanted her to do, in spite of the doubts, the fears, and the heartache she must have felt. Her faith and acceptance of the Lord's will is remarkable.

Today I'm thankful for women in the scriptures whose examples teach me important lessons about how to become a better person.

Abraham's wife, Sariah, struggled with infertility. I can relate, although mine isn't anywhere near so severe as hers, as I already have one child. But still, to an extent, I can identify with her.

She struggled with infertility until she was old and beyond childbearing years. Her husband had been promised descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. But she was unable to provide him with a child.

It must have been devastating for her. As someone who struggles with infertility, I know it can bring feelings of depression, low self-worth, unworthiness, and anger at God. But as difficult as her situation was, she remained faithful. And when she was old, far beyond childbearing years, she finally conceived and had Isaac. Which just proves that God can work miracles. Her story teaches me to have faith, and helps me try to be patient.

The story of Leah in the Old Testament teaches me that there are far worse things than infertility. I may struggle with having kids, but at least I have a husband who adores me. Poor Leah had many children, and with each one hoped that her husband would finally love her, but he never did. He had eyes only for Leah's sister, Rachel. Her story is one of heartache and lost opportunity. And it makes me so grateful to have the husband I have, even if I do have to deal with infertility. Leah's story helps me to count my blessings and have gratitude.

In the New Testament, Mary (the mother of the Savior) is one of my very favorite people. When I die, she's one of the first people I want to meet.

This is a woman who, as a girl, was told she would conceive by the Holy Ghost and give birth to the Son of God. She wasn't married, and being pregnant would make her a target of derision and ridicule. She would be poorly treated, gossiped about, and frowned on. But without hesitation, in spite of knowing all this, she answered, "Behold the handmaid of the Lord." In other words, "Here I am, I accept whatever the Lord may ask of me."

So much faith! So much courage! She blows me away. And obviously she must have been an incredible woman, to be tasked with raising the Savior of the world. And in spite of how hard it must have been to watch Him as He was ridiculed, cursed, and eventually crucified, she never tried to tell Him to stop, or change His mind. She never doubted Him or His divinity. She followed Him faithfully, and loved Him beyond words - not only as her son, but as her Savior. I hope to be a woman like Mary someday.

The last woman I'll talk about isn't named in the New Testament. She's referred to only as "a woman with an issue of blood."

This woman had an ongoing hemorrhage of blood, which under Mosaic Law, made her "unclean." She wasn't able to go out and be with friends and family, she had to stay confined. Along with that, the bleeding sapped her strength and health.

She sought help from numerous doctors, but nothing helped. She grew worse.

After twelve years of this struggle, she heard that a man named Jesus was coming to heal the sick. The Spirit revealed to her that Jesus was the literal Son of God, with power beyond that of mere doctors. She knew in her heart that if she could just get close enough to touch the Savior, she would be healed.

Can you imagine? Twelve years of doctors to no avail, but she had such incredible faith that she knew she could be completely healed with just a touch of the Master's robes. When she reached out and touched the Savior, she was miraculously and instantly healed, just as she knew she would be.

The Savior felt the healing take place, in spite of it being done without His knowledge. When he turned to ask her about it, he saw that it had been her incredible faith that had made it possible. Jesus told her,
“Daughter be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.” (Luke 8:48)

What an amazing woman, and an amazing story. Even after twelve years of isolation, pain, and hardship, her faith was strong. She's the one person in the scriptures who was healed purely on personal faith, without the Savior intentionally healing them. I hope my faith can be that strong someday.

There are many other incredible women in the scriptures, and I love and revere all of them for their faith, sacrifice, and example. But these are the ones who have most touched my heart. I'm grateful for the scriptures, and for the things I learn there that help me to become a better person. 

I love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. As much as I love Ben, and as much as Ben is part of my very self, the Savior is an even greater presence in my heart. He is the center of my self. And my relationship with Ben is only strengthened by that, because Christ is at the very center of Ben's life, too. Our love for each other is only strengthened by our love for the Lord. 

I want more than anything to become the woman the Savior wants me to be. I try to take my trials in stride, knowing that if I can face them with faith as the women in the scriptures did, I can grow and become a better person. Those trials are what make me stronger, better, and closer to the Lord. It's not easy, but I'm trying to live my life in such a way that makes the Savior proud of me. 

I hope someday to fall at His feet and worship Him, and to hear the words, "Well done, my good and faithful daughter." That will be a moment of incredible joy, and I will do anything to get there. I will do whatever the Lord asks of me. 

Though I'm not as strong and faithful as Mary, I'll do my best to repeat and live her words:

"Behold the handmaid of the Lord."