Day Twelve

Daniel: He's what's for lunch

Today is Veteran's Day, and my little brother's birthday. So I guess this will be a two-parter.

Naturally, I'm incredibly grateful for my brother, Daniel. He's seriously one of the best guys I know. He's generous, selfless, smart, handsome, hardworking, talented, funny, and sweet. Whoever marries him will be a lucky lady. And, as a protective big sister, I have to say that whatever girl he chooses had better live up to my high expectations, or she just won't be good enough for my little bro.

This is how my brothers play with Evie

Daniel has been struggling to find a job for a couple of years now, which completely boggles my mind. He's one of the hardest workers I've ever known. So, if you know anyone in Utah Valley who's hiring, let me know and I'll send him over! You should hire him - you definitely wouldn't regret it!

Daniel has helped me out so many times over the years. When he was 17, he spent a summer babysitting my infant every evening so that Ben and I could do summer theater. A couple of years later he came and stayed with Evie for a week so Ben and I could go on an anniversary trip. And multiple times he's flown out to wherever I live, just so he could turn right around and drive back with me, so I wouldn't have to drive to Utah by myself.

My brother is awesome. I'm lucky to be his sister. Have a great birthday, Daniel!

Daniel having a cute little snack

Today, as I mentioned earlier, is also Veteran's Day. As a milspouse, I have a different perspective on the military than most civilians do.

Military life is hard. Our servicemen and women require a great deal of discipline in order to do what they do. On top of that, they're frequently away from their families. They're asked to leave sometimes at a moment's notice. Their schedule is often irregular. They have to be incredibly physically fit. They have to learn how to handle pressure. Some even have to go through training that teaches them how to cope with being tortured.

Ben outranks his little brother, Michael

Choosing to serve in the military is not an easy decision. Nobody thinks, "Wow, military life looks like a fun, easy time!" Anyone who considers joining up is aware that they're making a sacrifice. Even those who don't deploy as much, or who don't come under heavy fire when they are deployed, are making huge sacrifices.

Serving in the military is a selfless choice. It's the decision to put your love for your country before your own well-being. It's the decision to give up your time, your comforts, and many of your freedoms for a cause greater than yourself. It's the decision to leave those you love behind you, and put yourself in harm's way to ensure that those people you love are protected.

When I see TV shows, movies, or news outlets vilifying the military, it makes me sick. The people who serve their country are not perfect, but in no way are they monsters. They don't join the military because they love killing. If anything, they understand the cost better than most. Their sacrifices should never be seen as anything less than noble and heroic.

Our servicemen and women are heroes, pure and simple. Without them, there's no way we could enjoy the freedoms we have.

It's not easy saying goodbye to my husband, and sending him off to war. It's terrifying. There's always a part of my mind - and a part of his mind - that are replaying scenarios where he doesn't come home. We have to be prepared to deal with it, because it's a genuine possibility.

Aside from the actual risk of death, there's also the difficulty that comes with being apart. We're blessed to have phone service, internet, and Skype. We can talk to our loved ones on a regular basis. It's so much better than it was a hundred years ago. But even with all of that, there's a physical, literal pain in my heart when Ben is gone. And it's compounded by the fact that, every time he leaves, he misses things.

Yeah, Ben is about as scary as a koala bear.

Next year, he'll be deployed over Christmas. If we have another baby by then, he'll miss their first Christmas. He'll also miss several of the first months of our baby's life. He'll miss Evie's birthday next year. Then there's all the little day-to-day experiences that he won't be here for - broken bones, lost teeth, proud accomplishments. Earlier this year, Evie was in the hospital for a few days with pneumonia, and Ben was gone. I had to handle it on my own. It was terrifying. It's incredibly hard having my husband gone so much of the time.

And I know it's even harder for him, because he's taken completely out of his comfort zone and surrounded by people he hardly knows. I have Evie, and our friends in the Abilene area. I can go visit family. But Ben doesn't have any of those things. He's far more isolated. I have no doubt that his deployments are even harder on him than they are on us.

So why does he do it?

When Ben joined the Air Force, he told me he wanted to do it so that he knew that he was doing everything in his power to protect his wife and children. He wanted to be part of the effort to keep us free and protected. It wasn't enough for him to support our troops, he needed to be actively doing his part to ensure our safety. He joined the military for love: Love of his country, and love of his family.

It's a sacrifice, but a meaningful one. Like the other men and women of the military, Ben has chosen to deprive himself of comfort, home, and family in order to serve a greater good. It's a heroic thing to do, and frankly, anyone who says differently is an idiot.

Thanks, boys! I love you!

Thank you to all of the men and women who serve, and thank you to the families and loved ones who support them.