Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Downer of a Blog

Okay, I'll admit it straight up: This blog entry will be seriously lacking in sunshine and roses.

I think part of the reason for this is that I'm currently on birth control, and it's seriously messing with my hormones. Add to that the fact that I really, REALLY don't want to be on birth control (five years trying for a baby, anyone?), and my emotions are just a mess. I'm cranky, I'm tired, I'm emotional, and I feel pretty much worthless. I am NOT a fan of birth control pills. 'Nuff said.

So yeah, I have a hard time being positive about things these days. I just feel too crappy. But sometimes venting helps, so I'm going to vent a little bit. If you don't want to read it, that's fine, but I'm going to write it and I'm going to post it so that anyone who might be in a similar situation will know that they're not alone. We all go through crappy stuff, we all get emotional about things, and I'm sure there are people who can relate.

I was reading the news (BIG mistake, I know. I usually avoid it), and I saw an article about how the GOP was trying to pass legislation to make gender-based abortions illegal. It didn't pass. I guess their thing was that they were trying to save all the baby girls whose parents choose to abort because they want a boy. I don't think there's a whole lot of people who do that anymore, but it does happen. Sick, but true.

I have to say, abortion is an issue that makes me sick at heart as it is. Never mind my own infertility, although that adds to it greatly, for sure. But the idea that there are women out there who consider their growing baby a parasite or a tumor rather than a potential human being is just too sad for words. Now, I'm not of the school of thought that says "abortions are ALWAYS evil," I believe there are instances when they are understandable. For example, if the mother's life is in jeopardy, and she chooses to abort so that she can live, I understand that. Or if the pregnancy is a result of rape, or incest, or anything like that. I totally can live with abortion under those circumstances. I probably wouldn't do it myself, but I understand it. I don't agree with aborting a child because it's sick, because I believe that even a brief life is worth living, but I can also understand how people might want to spare their child the pain of living with certain health conditions. Again, I don't agree with that one, but I can understand it.

But in normal circumstances, with healthy mothers and children, I think abortion is flat-out sick. And the idea that some people choose to abort their beautiful baby girls solely because they're FEMALE is disgusting.

I've addressed this before, and I'll say it again: If you don't want your baby, or don't think you can take care of it, GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION. It's the most selfless thing you can do. You're not only giving your child a chance at life, you're giving a baby to a family who desperately wants one, and maybe (like me) has a hard time having their own. I know, nine months of discomfort seems like a poor deal for a baby you're not planning to keep, but I don't think anyone would ever regret doing it. The joy that they would bring to the family who adopts their child, and the joy they would feel at bringing that life into the world would more than make up for the discomfort of pregnancy.

I know many people who were adopted. I can't imagine how different my life, and the lives of their loved ones would be if their mothers had chosen to abort them.

I want more children so desperately that, if I think about it too much, I end up in tears. I feel the absence of those children, and it breaks my heart. I long for them with a literal pain that's deep and profound. And the thought of women in the world taking a pregnancy for granted, and just choosing to have that life cut out of them like a tumor... It kills me. It really does.

I can't imagine life without my daughter. I can't imagine how much more empty and sad it would be if I had aborted her. She is a part of my soul. I wouldn't trade her for all the success, power, fame and money in the world.

I don't think people understand where happiness really comes from. It's nice to have a lucrative career, or to be famous, or to make a lot of money. But in the end, while those things may bring momentary satisfaction, they're really empty. What's the point of having money and success if you don't have anyone you love to share it with?

Love is what brings us joy. Family can make us happier than anything else in the world. If people would put their families first, and if spouses would always think of each other before themselves, I really think we could bring about world peace. The family is the center of a person's life, their upbringing, and who they become as adults. And people are what make the world what it is. Can you imagine what an amazing world we'd be living in if people put more focus on family and less on shallow, empty things like money?

I'll jump off my soapbox now, but let me just end with this: We live in a messed up world, where adultery is winked at, divorce is the norm, and abortion is applauded. The only way to change that is in the family, as we raise our children.

So let's choose to raise them!

And let's raise them to be better than us.

Can you imagine a world without this gorgeous little angel?