Whining - DONE

So after that blog I wrote yesterday, my mood just kept on spiraling downward. I woke up this morning feeling completely dejected. I had thoughts about doing something awful, just for the attention I would get from my loved ones. I would never actually do anything, of course, but I was at a low enough point that I was mildly considering it.

Around noon, when Evie was napping, Ben finally asked me what was up. I started bawling all over his clean shirt, but he was very understanding and just let me do it. I poured out everything I was feeling, about not making friends here, about my old friends not calling or emailing me ever, and even about how upset I was that my dad was the only one to call me for Christmas. The rest of the family was there, but he was the only one who talked to me. Not even my mom talked to me, and feeling the way I was I really could have used my mom's love. Aside from Christmas, my best efforts to get communication going with my family weren't going well, either. I rarely receive emails from any of them lately. So Christmas was kind of an extra blow.

Anyway, after crying my eyes out, I did feel better for awhile. I think it helps sometimes just to get it all out. I was able to get back to (more or less) normal, and ignore the hurt I was feeling.

Then, a couple of hours later, my dear friend Heather called me. She said hello, and Merry Christmas, and then asked how I was doing. When I told her fine, she said "Oh, are you sure? I just got the feeling like I should call you..." Of course, I burst into tears again, not sad ones, but the kind that you get when you're feeling bad and someone shows compassion. I told her all about it, and she was incredibly loving and understanding. Of course, she always is. She's amazing like that. We had a good talk, and I hung up feeling happy again. It's good to be reminded that someone cares about you.

Then, in the evening, my aunt Kathi called me as well. She was sitting in a parking lot, waiting to pick up my uncle Cody, and decided she should call me while she waited. I couldn't believe it. I rarely get ANY calls in a day, much less TWO calls from sympathetic friends and loved ones who care about me and just want to see how I'm doing. She asked me about Christmas, and we chatted about that, and then I told her about my frustrations as well. She's been in similar situations, and was able to not only lend a good ear, but give advice on how to change things for the better. Then I found out that my mother had called her for Christmas. My mom called her sister, which I don't blame her for (I called my sister, too), but she didn't call her daughter. In fact, after talking to my sister, I know she didn't call EITHER of her daughters. What the heck! Anyway, Kathi was really understanding about that, too.

I'm so grateful that I have people that care about me, who are willing to listen to the Spirit and follow through on it. The Spirit whispered that they should call me, and they did. And they totally brightened my mood. My whole day was improved, thanks to them. And they've helped me gain perspective and learn patience for my troubles. I know that I'll be okay, because even if I don't hear from my family and friends as often as I would really like to, I have the reassurance that there are people out there who love me. They don't just love me, even, they LIKE me too. Those don't always go together, you know.

I feel very blessed to have the friends and family that I do. You couldn't find anyone better in the world. I just hope I can be as good a friend to them as they've been to me.