"The Time Has Come," the Walrus Said, "To Talk of Juleigh Things..."

I have a list of about seven things that I'm especially grateful for, and I save those seven things for the end, every year. I write about them in order such that the most important is saved for last, and they go in that order.

Everything before the last week is random, just whatever I'm feeling that day. But the topics during the week before Thanksgiving are the ones closest to my heart.

After today, I'll be talking about my siblings, my parents, my daughter, my husband, and my Savior.

So the person I'm talking about today is the person I love most in the entire world, outside of my closest family and my God.

And, to be honest, she has become as close to me as if she were my own, literal sister. But I had to put them in some kind of order for this last week, so blood got the edge. Although, on the other hand, the post about my siblings is talking about all four of them together, and this one gets her very own post.

Hopefully, this helps her realize how very important she is to me.

I'm talking, of course, about Juleigh.

Her name has come up a few times throughout this month, and that's because she does so many things that bless my life and make me feel grateful. But today the topic of my blog is purely her. I'm grateful for the awesome things she does, yes, but I'm especially grateful just to have her in my life.

As discussed yesterday, I've had many friends over the years. Not usually all at once, but because I moved so often, I collected quite a few in the long run. I've even had friends that I've felt especially close to. "Best friends," as it were.

Well, no offense to them, because they're wonderful and I love them, but Juleigh blows them all away.

And I think the main difference is this: Never before have I had a friend that I felt loved me as much as I loved them.

All the other best friends I had while I was growing up were relatively permanent fixtures in their communities, for one thing. They had other friends, many of whom they had known longer and were closer with than they were with me. That's one of the things about being a nomad, like me: Friendships are fleeting, and often shallower because of it. The people you leave behind usually have other friends, so they don't really miss you so much when you're gone.

For me, though, those friendships were the strongest in my life. And it always killed me a little when they fizzled out. But, for my part, I kind of let it happen. I knew, even then, that I was the one who was more invested, and that I wouldn't be too terribly missed when I was gone. So I detached and moved on.

Juleigh is different, though. I love her like a sister, and I know that she loves me just as much. It's totally new for me, at least when it comes to friendships. It's the same kind of thing I have with my siblings, or my husband - reciprocation. But it's the first time I've had reciprocation like this in a friend.

I think it helps that she and her husband moved here only a couple of weeks before us. Neither of us knew anyone else. We were both feeling nervous and (to be honest) kind of depressed to find ourselves in Abilene, TX. We were lonely, and we both needed a friend.

That being said, it still took us a few months before our friendship really took off. I think we're both kind of shy at first, afraid to put ourselves out there. I know I am, anyway. It's always harder when you're the new kid, too. It's easier to extend the hand of friendship when you're already settled and comfortable with the people around you. But putting yourself forward when you don't know anyone is scary. So it took us a while to get comfortable enough around one another to start letting our weird sides out.

When it came out, though, it came out in a huge way. We would have long conversations on Facebook, in the comments sections of various status updates - much to the chagrin of anyone else who may have commented on the post. We kind of blew up the internet. My mom actually stopped commenting on stuff and just started giving my posts a supportive "like," so she could avoid all the notifications Juleigh and I were causing because of our comments.

Eventually, we started using texting and messaging to have our conversations. And Facebook breathed a sigh of relief.

But not until after we had talked about all kinds of bizarre, humorous things, like whether or not elephants have boogers. And if they do, what happens if they get a head cold? Do elephants ever actually get head colds?

Obviously, we had each found a friend who was just as strange and awesome as ourselves. We bonded quickly after that.

Our husbands got along too, although not to the same extent. But they're good enough friends that they don't seem to mind all the hanging out Juleigh and I like to do. And the kids have fun playing together. So it all worked out great!

Juleigh makes me act like a 12-year-old. Usually a 12-year-old boy. But I do the same to her, so it's only fair. We found ourselves trying to fake burp in the car the other day. We were grown women, in our 30s, acting like goofy kids.

It's awesome.

We've done all sorts of crazy stuff together, too - usually dragging our families into participation.

We had a pie-eating contest.

We dressed up like Mario characters and went go-karting.

We had a superhero themed birthday party for Evie, just so we could dress up.

We played a lot of truth-or-dare Jenga.

We dressed up and took pictures as gifts for our husbands for Valentine's Day.

We went to the Trunk-or-Treat at our church as characters from the Big Bang Theory.

We decided to start a band called "Finxter Muffles."

We've gone on a road trip or two.

We started doing our Christmas Eve traditions together every year, including a nativity.

We had a Nerf war on Christmas Day.

We made finger mustaches (on multiple occasions).

We take our family pictures together (meaning at the same time, although occasionally we might slip into one another's pictures).

We even discovered that there's a curse on us. Every time we double-date to Outback Steakhouse, someone in our group ends up getting violently ill. It's not anything Outback did, it's just been sheer dumb luck. Or, as I mentioned before, a curse.

Life is so much better with Juleigh in it. :)

That's not to say that we are purely goofy, of course. There have been lots of times when I've been able to talk to Juleigh about serious things, too. And we've both had multiple opportunities to help each other over the past few years.

Juleigh helped me deal with my ants, just this past week.

I drove with her to the auto parts store and watched her car when she was afraid to turn it off because it might stop working.

She brought me food and stayed with Evie for a while so I could go home and shower and change when Evie was in the hospital with pneumonia.

I watched her kids overnight when Juleigh had a seizure and had to go to the emergency room.

She helped me raise some money to put toward an adoption or medical procedure to help solve our infertility problem.

I went with her to her grandmother's funeral so she wouldn't have to make the long drive alone.

We held a garage sale to raise money for a family who had lost their home to a fire.

We've gone to the temple together.

We took around little gifts to people from our church who seemed to need a little extra love.

We encourage each other to be healthy by going to the gym together.

It's not all about the fluff and fun, although that is certainly a huge part of our relationship. But it's so much deeper than that. We've already decided that we want our mansions in heaven to be next door to each other, so we can continue our friendship through eternity.

Juleigh is my best friend forever, in a very real, literal way. There's a reason why she is second only to my family and my Savior on my list of things I'm thankful for. My life has been indescribably better since she became a part of it.

Now that we are probably moving next summer, I've been very worried that this will be another friendship that fizzles out. It would truly break my heart if it did.

But as I said before, this friendship is different from any I've had before. Juleigh loves me just as much as I love her. So I can't imagine that either of us will let this friendship die out.

Keeping Juleigh in my life has become a priority for me. I want to plan my family's vacations to Utah in the summers so they coincide with when she'll be there. When we retire, I want to settle near where she and Bryce settle (we've talked about Idaho Falls and Logan, UT, respectively), so we can see them on a regular basis. I want to go on vacations together, with us and our husbands. And maybe the kids.

Sometimes.

Maybe. ;)

And I refuse to let the little communications end - the texts, the Facebook posts, the messaging, the phone calls. I want to talk to her about my life, and see what's going on in hers. I don't want that to stop.

We probably won't be able to be as close as we have been, since we'll be living hundreds of miles apart. But that's only temporary. Because eventually, we'll be next-door neighbors in heaven. And then we can pick up right where we left off.

A friendship like this isn't one that you allow to fade away. It's a friendship that can, and should, last forever.

I'm going to miss her like crazy when we move. But, in the same way that I try to talk to and visit with my parents and siblings on a regular basis, I'm going to try to see Juleigh. She's more than my friend now. She's my sister. She's part of who I am. And I'm refusing to let her go.

I love you, Juleigh. Thank you for being my very best friend.

Let's Hear it for My Friends!

Interpersonal relationships are so important. No man is an island. And that goes doubly for most women. ;)

As I mentioned yesterday, my strongest relationships when I was growing up were with my family. Moving around so much made it difficult to hold on to friends for more than a year or two.

But I did make friends everywhere we went. It's hard to survive without friends. I imagine that's why so many people who are bullied and ostracized try to hurt themselves. Extreme isolation and loneliness have to be some of the most painful feelings a person can experience. Everyone needs a friend, even if it's just one.

I've tried to teach Evie to be a friend to everyone, but to be especially aware of those who are picked on or lonely. There were times in my life when I was that kid, playing alone on the playground. Fortunately for me, those times were rare. I usually managed to find at least one good friend. But those lonely times were incredibly difficult. And it's got to be much worse for people who are actively pushed away through bullying.

Evie is naturally a very sweet, compassionate girl. And she has the courage to stand up for what she believes in. I hope that she can be a force for good among her lonely peers, and be a friend to anyone who might need one.

That's not an easy job. But I'm hopeful that she has what it takes. If I can raise her right, she can hopefully make a difference in people's lives through her friendship.

I'm very grateful for the friends I've had throughout my life.

When I say "friends," I don't just mean people I hang out with. I also mean all the people who have loved, helped, and supported me. That includes people from church - many of whom are much older or much younger than me - and my extended family and in-laws.

It's amazing what a huge support system I have, when I really look at it. Evie was asking me the other day what would happen to her if Ben and I died. I told her she would go to my parents. And if not them, my sister; and if not her, there are plenty of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and friends and people who love her and would take her in. She will never have to be alone, no matter what happens.


I don't think I fully appreciate how wonderful that is. Sometimes I think I take it for granted. I watch a show on TV where there's a kid whose parents are dead or unsuitable, and they have no living relatives or friends of the family who can take them in. Part of me thinks that's ridiculous, because how can anyone be so isolated?? But the fact is, it does happen! Look at all the kids in foster care. If they had a support system like Evie does, they wouldn't need to be in the custody of the state.

Having so many friends, family, and loved ones is such a huge blessing.

I'm not trying to say that I'm super popular and lovable. I'm not really all that outgoing and bubbly. People aren't necessarily drawn to me. In school I usually had just a few good friends, and I'm not so different now. But because I'm blessed with a large family, and with the gospel in my life (which has given me hundreds of "church family" members), and between meeting people through theater and music, and from living all over the world... all those people add up to a fairly massive number. And each one of them has had a hand in shaping my life.

We are a product of our experiences. Every moment I've had in my life with another human being has changed me in some way. And I have been so blessed to have crossed paths with many of the greatest people in the world.

I'm grateful for my relationships, and for each one of you reading this. I hope that I've been able to change your lives in some small way, as you have changed mine.

And if so, I hope that change was a positive one! ;)

Priorities

I think a lot of people today have a hard time with prioritizing correctly.

Too many people put work before family, or their own comfort before the needs of their loved ones, or their busy schedule before their daily prayer and scripture study.

Priorities can be hard to figure out sometimes. There are so many important things, all competing for our attention. It's difficult, sometimes to know what should come first.

I feel like I'm fairly blessed in this regard, because my life has unfolded in such a way that it has taught me where my priorities should be. I'm thankful to have that knowledge.

I grew up moving around a lot. We rarely stayed in one place for more than a couple of years at a time. Because of that, I had a hard time holding on to friends. Friends are important, and when you're a teenager, they can be your whole world. So this was hard on me at the time.

But looking back, I can see that our moving around so much came with a huge blessing: because I couldn't hold on to any long-term friendships, my siblings became my closest friends.

To this day, they're still some of the people I love most in the whole world. And I don't just love them, like siblings usually do, I genuinely enjoy spending time with them. Given the chance, I will hang out with them as much as I possibly can. And it's never enough. Every time I have to say goodbye and head back to Texas (or wherever we happen to be living), I cry.

I'm also very close to my parents, especially my mom. I truly believe that this is directly linked to the fact that I had no one else to rely on growing up. I just had my family. And now we're all absurdly close.

This has taught me that family should be a priority over friends.

Now, to be clear, I do have one particular friend who merits just as strong feelings. She has basically become a sister to me. Our relationship is another one that I feel should be a priority. Even after Ben and I move away, I'm going to make sure I find time to visit with her and talk to her as much as I can. Because she has become more than just a friend. She has become family.

There's a reason why people consider their very closest friends to be "family." And that's because family bonds are - or, should be - stronger than just friendship. A lot of people don't understand that. I'm very blessed to recognize that fact, and to have learned through my life that family should always be a priority.

This also ties in very closely with marriage. Your marriage to your spouse is always a priority over your friendships, or even your parents and siblings. I've seen so many people who have let people outside their marriage come between them and their spouse.

Look at it this way - adultery is always caused by someone not putting their spouse first. It can start off with something as simple as, "I want to have friends of my own, that have nothing to do with my marriage!" That is a dangerous thought. All it takes is for one "friendship" with someone of the opposite sex to become a priority over your marriage, and you're sliding down the slippery slope to adultery.

Your spouse should always, always come first. Ben and I don't even have friends of the opposite sex, unless they're friends that we share (or very casual Facebook friends that we rarely talk to and never actually see). And any girls Ben might be friends with, are even more my friends than they are his. And vice versa. I'm not going to be friends with a guy unless that guy is even closer friends with my husband.

Some people think that's crazy. They say that friendships are harmless! But I've seen people I know be painfully hurt by that philosophy. If your spouse isn't comfortable with your friend, then you need to let go of that friendship. Especially if it's with a member of the opposite sex. Your spouse should always be your priority.

The only person who should come before your spouse is God.

That's another thing I have learned to prioritize - my time I spend every day connecting with God. I read my scriptures, say my prayers, try to take a few minutes to meditate, and even write my feelings in a journal.

That relationship is my top priority, even over my family or my husband. God is the most important figure in my life. I've noticed - again, through experience - that life is better when I'm making my relationship with God a priority. Trials are easier to handle, blessings are more abundant. There is more peace in my heart and in my home. It's so much easier to tune out the noise of our chaotic world when you're making God a priority.

There are those out there who think it's weird that I make God a priority, even over my husband. There are many who don't do that. God isn't a priority for them, even if they love Him and consider themselves religious. But my relationship with God doesn't hinge on how my husband, family, or friends feel about Him. It's personal. And I love Him too much to put anyone before Him. If my husband were to look at me today and say, "I don't want to go to church anymore," I wouldn't stop going, too. My relationship with God is my own, and it comes first, no matter what my loved ones might say or do to convince me otherwise.

God loves us. He wants us to be happy, to have families, and friends, and good relationships. But as He says in the scriptures, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." He's not referring to golden idols, or false deities like Zeus. I'm sure that's part of it, but it's only a tiny fraction.

Basically, what He's saying is that nothing should be a priority over Him. Anything we're putting before God - be it money, work, charitable service, family, our spouse - is a "god" that we are worshiping. We may be doing very good, worthwhile things. And that's great! But if we're putting those things first, before our relationship with God, we're doing something wrong.

That includes going to sports games instead of church. Or not taking the time to pray or study the scriptures during the day, because we're busy working, or doing service, or taking care of our families. It even includes buying formula or diapers for our baby instead of paying our tithing.

I've been in that last situation. It isn't easy! I remember a time when we had to choose between paying our tithing and buying formula for our infant daughter. But we made God the priority, and paid our tithing. We just trusted that everything would work out; that we would be blessed.

That very same day a man we didn't know gave us $100, because he had a strong impression from the Spirit that we needed it.

God takes care of those who put Him first! If you make Him a priority, you will be blessed for it.

The last priority I'm going to talk about isn't as major and obvious as the other two. But it's something that, through my marriage, I have learned is a priority for me. And it's one that, for a long time, I didn't realize.

One of my biggest priorities is to have my husband home.

That's something that most people take for granted. There are very few people who live a lifestyle like Ben's and mine. Most people have their spouse home for dinner every evening. Or at least, they get to see each other at some point, every day.

For a milspouse, that's often not the case.

In our almost 9 years of marriage, Ben and I have been together for only three entire summers. We've had pieces of summers a few other years, but only three that we were together every day.

Since Ben commissioned in the Air Force, he has spent almost as much time away from home as he has here with us.

It sucks. There are really no words to describe how awful it is, having him away so often.

When he decided to join the military, I supported him. My dad had been in the Air Force, but he was almost always home every day. It was like any other job, with just a few times when he had to be gone. Once was for a year when I was little, and I'm sure that was crazy hard on my mom. But for the most part, he was home.

Along with that, the experiences I'd had as a military brat were ones that I wanted my kids to have. Specifically, I wanted my children to be each other's best friends; to learn that lesson I talked about earlier, and make their family a priority.

So I supported Ben's decision to join the Air Force.

Then, he got a pilot slot.

I knew this meant he would be gone more often, but flying was a dream come true for him, so I supported him.

He had to do six weeks of basic training while I was pregnant with Evie. Then two years later, he had to leave for another six weeks for initial flight training.

Around this time, we discovered that we had secondary infertility. So my main motivation for joining the military - so that our kids would be really close - isn't even a thing that's going to happen. Instead, we've got one really lonely kid who has to move every few years and doesn't have anyone to be really close with. So that kind of backfired. Big time. But we were committed at this point.

We got about a year together while he did pilot training. Out of pilot training, Ben got assigned to C-130Hs. They were at the bottom of our wish list, mostly because C-130 guys have to be deployed more than just about any other pilot. So we didn't even want them. But we got them anyway.

It was out of our control. We just had to deal with it.

Ben deployed about seven months after we arrived at our first base. He was gone for four months.

About 7 or 8 months after he got home from that first deployment, they shipped Ben off for another six months to train on C-130Js.  He already knew the H model, but they were getting rid of those, so after only a year using his H training, he had to go back and do J training. And they scheduled the training so that it was just short enough to justify sending him alone, rather than letting his family go with him.

So we had another six months without him. Although we did, at least, get to visit with him occasionally.

Looking back, I don't think we've ever had a full year together since our first year of marriage.

We did, however, get him for most of this last year, with only occasional TDYs (for a few weeks at a time) sending him away.

Now he's deployed again. And I hate it.

There may be some milspouses out there who aren't fazed by the time they have to spend away from their spouse, but I would wager that the vast majority of us loathe the time apart.

People say we're strong, but the fact is that we're just coping. We deal with it, because we love our spouses. So what other choice do we have than to deal with it as best we can?

Originally I wanted to move overseas, to Germany, or England, or Japan. I wanted to use Ben's time in the military to see some of the world! I got to see a few parts of the world growing up, and I have always wanted to see more. That was another reason I had originally encouraged Ben to join the armed forces.

So far, we've seen lovely Oklahoma and Texas. Another backfire.

But what I'm getting at, in my long, drawn-out way, is that seeing the world isn't a priority for me anymore. Yes, there are still chances for us to go overseas. But I don't want that anymore. I would hate it.

If we're overseas, it means Ben will still have to be gone a lot. Maybe even more than he is now. And that's absolutely not worth it.

Having him home has become my priority.

So I'm hoping he'll get UAVs, like he wants, for his next post. We would probably be living out in the middle of nowhere, in an ugly part of the country, away from most forms of civilization.

But he would be home, a lot more than he is now. Maybe we'll even get a few years together without having to say goodbye.

That has become my new dream. He's my priority. All the beautiful countries in the world are empty of pleasure if he can't be with me to share them. I would rather live in a hut in the desert and have him with me, than live in a gorgeous foreign country and be alone most of the time.

It took a while, but that's a priority that I finally figured out. My experiences in life have taught me so much about where my priorities should lie. I'm thankful for those experiences, and that knowledge. Having my priorities in order means I have a better life. I'm  happier, and more peaceful. And I'm grateful for it.

The Bare Necessities

Right now, I'm thankful for my bed.

I'm thankful that it's comfortable, and warm.

I'm grateful that I can go to sleep when I'm tired and wake up feeling refreshed.

I'm very thankful that I can go to bed as soon as I'm done writing this post.

And I'm grateful for those rare moments in my life, when I realize that it's okay to occasionally put forth less than 100%. It's all right, every once in a while, for example, to put out a gratitude post that isn't a thing of intellectual beauty or powerful emotion or high entertainment value. Sometimes, it's good enough just to express your gratitude with a few quick sentences, and call it a day.

Cassie out. Peace!

A Friend in Need...

I'm thankful for a very specific incident today. 

As I mentioned in my "coping" post yesterday, my couch was beset upon by ants. Fire ants, as it turns out.

Just one of my ant bites.

I didn't see any ants for the rest of the day after that initial incident, so I woke up this morning hoping that it was over for good.

Then, I went in my kitchen and saw my counter was covered. The reassuring part of all this, of course, being that at least it made sense for the ants to be in the kitchen. I still have no idea why they were all over my couch yesterday.

Anyway, my plans to go to the gym were immediately cancelled. I killed the ants I could see, got Evie to school, then contacted the real estate place that handles our rental issues to let them know that my home was under attack.

I was seriously about to cry.

Then, an angel showed up.

The ants' entrance into my house.

My best friend, Juleigh, came to my rescue. In spite of feeling sick that morning, she selflessly showed up at my door and got to work helping me solve the problem.

In the past, because we keep so many appliances and things on our counters, I've taken the easy way out and just killed whatever ants were easy to find, and set (largely ineffective) traps for the rest. I usually only have to battle ants once a year, in the summer. But this was a new, and more annoying version of the ant problem. Juleigh suggested that we clear everything off the counters, and scrub everything with bleach.

As we did this, we discovered that my toaster oven had been hiding a large gap in the corner of my counter top from view. Whoever had put in the counter had not done a great job sealing up all the cracks. And, as we watched, we saw the ants coming out of the hole.

After three summer of fighting sugar ants, and never being able to tell how they were getting in, the mystery was finally solved!

We finished cleaning the kitchen - and boy, does Juleigh know how to make a kitchen sparkle! - then mopped the floors.

At some point in the process, the manager from our rental place came to look at the ants. Obviously, we had been killing them and wiping them away, so he didn't have much to look at. He said, though, that they could only help with the cost of the pest control if they were wood ants, and therefore tearing up the house. This being Texas, land of many bugs, anything else was going to be on me.

He was very nice about it. He recommended a good spray to use every few months around our baseboards and the outside of our house to keep the bugs away. And he recommended that we trim back the flower beds that had ivy creeping up the outside walls of our house.

With that information in hand, Juleigh and I went to Lowe's and got the pesticide spray, as well as some clear caulk to seal up all the cracks in my counter that were letting the ants in.

See? Wonder Woman.

We also caught a few ants, including a corpse of one of the bigger, biting ones, so we could make sure they weren't actually wood ants. Juleigh caught the ants using a piece of paper and dumped them in a jar so we could look at them more closely. As it turns out, the bigger ones were not wood ants. They were fire ants. Ugh.

It may seem like a little thing, catching those bugs, but I wouldn't want to do it. Juleigh is pretty much Wonder Woman.

Then Juleigh talked to her husband, Bryce, and worked out a time for him to come by later in the day and take care of the spraying and caulking. Sure enough, he came by after work and sprayed the pesticide on my baseboards and around the outside of my house. Then he caulked all of the gaps and cracks in my counter, which basically meant everywhere the counter was supposed to be touching the wall (but wasn't). He even caulked the kitchen window from outside the house, because he noticed a crack that I never knew was there.

SuperBryce's alter ego, mild-mannered Bryce

It took him about an hour to do it all, while I helplessly stood by and watched. When I told him that I owed him one, he said, "No way. We're always even."

What a guy! No wonder Wonder Woman married him! He's like Superman!

So basically, Superman (SuperBryce?) and Wonder Woman (Wonder Juleigh?) came to my rescue today. I was on the verge of throwing up my hands, giving up, and staying in bed for a few days, but they pulled me back from the edge of extreme frustration and helped me deal with a very annoying situation.

I'm so thankful for their selfless service to me today. They seriously made my whole day so much better than it would have been without them. I would probably still be battling those ants, with no idea how to fix the problem, if it weren't for them.

Wow, I sound seriously helpless. But then, I guess I am fairly pathetic when it comes to this stuff.

SuperBryce and Wonder Juleigh, you guys are my heroes! And I'm so grateful for what you did for me today! Thank you thank you thank you!

My clean, caulked, ant-free kitchen counters!

The Coping Cabana

The "coping cabana!" Wokka wokka!

No, this post is actually just about coping. In general. No cabanas included.

But I did have some fun making up the title for this post. ;) It's because I'm a dork, you see.

To more serious matters. I am thankful for the ability to cope.

I suppose it all comes down to the fact that the Lord won't give us any trials that we can't handle. He won't test us beyond what we're able to endure. So coping is something that everyone should, ideally, be able to do.

We don't always choose to cope. Sometimes it just seems easier to throw in the towel and spend a day or two in bed. But we do have the actual ability to handle whatever comes our way.

I find that this skill is rarely more tested in my life than it is when Ben is deployed.

It's kind of a long-standing military tradition, I suppose. I know for a fact that almost every milspouse has experienced this phenomena. What happens is this: As soon as the spouse deploys (or is gone for any extended period of time), everything suddenly goes wrong. And it happens at a much greater rate than it does when the hubby is home.

I'm not sure what the term for this phenomena would be. Let's call it, "Shirley."

So, in true Shirley tradition, this past month has been full of stressful little adventures.

First, the very day that Ben deployed, my laptop informed me that it was going to die. Ben being my tech guy, this was a major Shirley. BUT, I coped! I found a wonderful, selfless friend on Facebook who fixed everything for me. It stressed me out a bit, but things all came together. I just ended up having to buy a new hard drive, and a gift card to thank my friend for her help. No big deal.

Then, the hotel we had cancelled due to Ben's deployment date changing decided not to refund us our money, in spite of their assurance that they would do so (because Ben had military orders, which they said they would honor). Even though we faxed the orders in the very moment we officially got them, they said "Oh, you waited too long. We can't guarantee you'll get your money back." Seeing as how we had paid for two nights, in advance, this was a big, fat Shirley. Especially since there are always more expenses when your hubby is getting ready to deploy, so we were already shorter on cash than usual.

That Shirley was a bit of a blow. But we got through it. We never got our money back, but sometimes these things just happen. We coped.

The next Shirley wasn't so big - I just got a fairly nasty cold for a few days. The hardest part about that was not having any help at home. I still had to get Evie to school, dance, and karate. I had to make sure she bathed, and brushed her teeth, and got three meals a day. I had to do everything I usually do, but while battling some serious sniffles and sinus pain. It really made me appreciate how much easier everything is when Ben is home to help. But I coped!

Last night we had another Shirley. It was quite an adventure. Around 7 pm, our power suddenly went off, through most of the neighborhood. And since the sun had long since set, it was pitch black. It wasn't such a big deal for me, but Evie was alone in the living room and got a fairly big scare. Luckily, I had my cell phone in my hands and was able to turn on the flashlight app and go lead her back to my room.

Unfortunately, there were no working flashlights in the house (go figure), and only one candle. That's what I get for switching over from candles to Scentsy, I suppose. And while we had my cell phone, it was about to die, too. But, I lit our one candle, and gave Evie my iPad so she could have something to play with that didn't rely on an external power source, and so she could calm down a bit.

I have to admit, I started to worry about what we would do if the outage went on for too long. The food in our fridge and freezer would go bad. We couldn't get our cars out of the garage too easily, because the garage door openers were dead. My phone was dying, too, so how would we call for help if we needed it?

I figured out that I could get Ben's adapter from his car and charge my phone using the car battery. But just as I was getting ready to do that, after an hour of no power, it all came back on. In spite of the lack of light sources and electricity, we'd made it through the blackout with only minimal freaked-outedness on Evie's part. And in spite of the fact that neither The Amazing Race or Once Upon A Time was able to record because of the power outage, WE COPED!

(I wasn't very happy about that last part, but hey. I coped!)

Then today, while I was sitting on the couch, painting my nails... something bit me. It was another Shirley, this time in the form of ants. Big ones. Several of them, all over my couch.

I was baffled. Our couch isn't near any doors, windows, or even outside walls. There were no food sources nearby. But there were ants, all over the area where I'd been sitting!!!

I immediately ran and changed my clothes, in case they were on me. Those bites hurt, man!

Then I spent the next half hour spraying ant poison all over my couch (lovely!), vacuuming the couch - and the floor all around the couch - and trying to figure out where the heck they were coming from!!!

I never did figure it out. But I haven't seen any since I sprayed and vacuumed the heck out of those tiny Shirleys. So hopefully they're gone and it's over.

That one was a particularly aggravating Shirley. That's definitely something that I would have preferred to have Ben's help with! But guess what? I coped.

It wasn't fun. Coping rarely is. The very term suggests dealing with something unpleasant. But in spite of the unpleasantness, we're still able to do it.

I'm thankful that I have the ability to deal with the crazy stuff that happens in life - especially the things I have to deal with on my own. It's much more aggravating when Ben is gone and stuff like this happens. But God doesn't give me anything I can't handle. And so far, the Shirleys haven't caused me too much difficulty. Not like the Shirley we had last year, when Evie ended up in the hospital with pneumonia while Ben was in training for six months in Little Rock... But that's another story.

The moral of this blog entry is, I'm grateful that I can deal with all the crazy life throws at me.

Although I would also be very grateful if Shirley would keep her distance for a while. ;)

Music Soothes the Savage Beast

Today I'm thankful for music!

Auditioning for Abilene Idol

I've been very blessed to have been given a decent amount of talent when it comes to music. I sing, and I play the piano, and I think I do both fairly well.

So, it isn't enough for me to just listen to music. I always want to get in there and participate! Especially when it comes to singing. That's my passion.

Rehearsals for Little Shop

This time of year, we tend to start working on Christmas music for various church parties and programs. Even though I don't listen to Christmas music around the house until after Thanksgiving, I feel like it's okay to get a start on learning and practicing Christmas music a little earlier.

This year I'm singing in our ward Christmas meeting, the Sunday before the big holiday. I'm also putting together music and narration for our church Christmas party, and the fancy Christmas dinner that the ladies at church are going to have.

So as you might guess, I've got all kinds of Christmas music I'm working on at the moment! I'm not singing every song myself, of course, but I am organizing it and accompanying most of them.

Today I got to spend an hour with some very talented ladies, working on the song "Candlelight Carol." It's beautiful, but it has some complicated harmonies. This was our first day working on it, but already I can hear the potential. It's going to be gorgeous!

Ben singing in the first Abilene Idol competition. He won 2nd.

Music has the power to increase any emotion. That's why they use it on TV and in the movies! They build suspense, or hint at romance, or make your heart soar with the thrill of adventure. And they do it through music.

At the funeral I attended yesterday, my friend and I were both doing pretty well with not crying. Until the music started up at the end of the service. I'd never heard the song before, but it made the moment so much more powerful. Neither of us escaped with dry eyes.

A kids' musical I did last summer

Music is a powerful thing. I don't know that enough people really understand that. Music can heal, or wound, or intrigue, or encourage, or pacify, or even terrify us. I've had songs leave me feeling incredibly uncomfortable, and others uplift my soul to the point of tears.

Think about this - all it takes is two very specific, very low, rumbling bass notes, and it can give you nightmares about sharks!

Music is a wonderful blessing. It makes life so much more meaningful. I'm grateful that I have talents that allow me to express myself through music. I can say so much more with music than I can with words alone.

"Somewhere That's Green" from Little Shop of Horrors

And I know God gave us music for a reason. He loves it, too. As He says in Doctrine and Covenants, 25:12, "For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads."

I love music. And I'm so thankful for it!