Heartache - A Poem About Infertility

This is dedicated to all of the women who ever have, or ever will be in my shoes. Infertility - even secondary infertility, like mine - is an incredibly difficult cross to bear, and I definitely think it's okay if we just need to break down and cry sometimes. 

You can always be strong again tomorrow. 

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My heart is aching, eyes are wet,
Sometimes I wish I could forget.
Not be reminded every day
Of things too painful to convey.

I smile so big and act so strong,
Most people don’t know something’s wrong.
That underneath my cheerful air,
My soul is weeping in despair.

My husband tries to bear the load;
Relieve my burden on life’s road.
But behind his smile, I see a frown.
I wonder if I’ve let him down?

I know he’s hurting, just like me.
How different his own path could be!
If he had wed a different wife,
Would he have had more joy in life?

But, no, he loves me; that I know.
He’d never choose to let me go.
Through thick and thin, he’s by my side,
Exactly as he would decide.

My daughter prays in bed each night,
For God to change her lonely plight.
She plays alone, she’s often blue.
My struggle is her sorrow, too.

She asks me almost every day,
When things will finally go her way?
My heart breaks every time she asks.
I cannot give her what she lacks.

Most days I’m strong. My faith is sure.
I try with patience to endure.
But being strong has got its cost,
For there are days when strength is lost;

When doubts creep in, and then reside
Inside my thoughts where I can’t hide.
They eat away at faith and hope,
Until I can no longer cope.

What if I’m broken? Can’t be healed?
What if my heavy fate is sealed?
My hopes, so high, once more will fall.
What if I can’t be fixed at all?

Each time this trial seems nearly done,
Another problem has begun.
I work to keep despair at bay,
But anguish drives my hope away.

Most days I’m fine, my smile is real.
But days like this need time to heal.
These painful days when faith is low
Can deal my heart a heavy blow.

So, for today, my strength is weak.
My heart may ache, my eyes may leak.
But peace and faith can follow sorrow.

I will be strong again tomorrow.