Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Tribute

Here we go. Last time I had a blog, and I wrote down how I was feeling about something (the good as well as the bad), a number of crazy people stumbled across it and decided I was worthless as a human being. Naturally, I had forgotten that normal people don't admit their shortcomings. We're all supposed to pretend we're perfect. My mistake.

Anyway, these particular crazy people decided that it was up to them to let me know just how horrible I really am. Anonymously. I'm guessing bravery isn't compatible with crazy, at least in the blog-commenting universe. I was pretty angry, since I wasn't writing this stuff down for their benefit in the first place. As you can probably tell by my kind words of welcome to the right on my page, I hope not to see the likes of it again. If people are friends or family members, I'm glad they're reading. If people want to read my blog because they're curious about life in the Air Force, that's fine. If people read it to see how I cope as a wife and mother, I'm okay with that. If the people reading it are looking for real insight into the mind of an ordinary, every day kind of girl, they're welcome to read on. If their goal in reading my blog is to find negatives and point them out in the most rude and cowardly way they can think of, they need to get a life and move on.

Some people like to think they're smarter and better than everyone else. Some people are, in fact, smarter and better. But usually they're not the ones who go out of their way to try and point it out. The ones who try to pull themselves up by searching out blogs and posting rude comments are generally the kind who live in their parents' basements, eating Cheetos and day-old cold pizza, in the same pair of sweatpants they've had on for a week while they cruise singles websites for hot babes (male or female) that are really into Dungeons and Dragons and will love them for their superior wit and lack of hygiene.

With any luck, those crazies will stay away from this blog.

DO YOU HEAR ME, CRAZY PEOPLE???? GET LOST!!!

Okay.

The reason I decided to start my blog up again was this: I'm moving. I'm really excited to be leaving Utah, but I'm not thrilled about leaving my sibs behind. It was hard going away to college, but at least then the rest of my family was in the same country and I got to see them once or twice a year for extended time. Now Mom, Dad, and Joseph are living in Kenya and everyone else is here in Utah. It's been wonderful being so close to Andrew, Daniel and Lyssa. They're my best friends. They always have been, even when we were growing up and we sometimes hated each other. They've been the people in my life that I've always been able to rely on, no matter what.

Growing up moving around so much was hard, and I remember that we hated it with all the firey passion of hell. But looking back on it, I feel so fortunate that I was raised that way. Rather than finding my lifelong friends at school or through church, I found them right in my own home. If I wasn't leaving my school and church friends behind every couple of years, I probably wouldn't have ever really noticed my siblings. I'm so glad that I did.

Andrew is one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life, and I'm not just saying that because he's my brother. He's the only person who has ever successfully made me squirt milk out my nose. Even when I was really angry with him, I always ended up laughing. I remember that I would be so angry that I'd scream at him, and in response he'd pull this demented face (mocking mine, I'm sure), and scream incoherently back at me. It was infuriating, being so mad and having to choke back laughter at the same time. Before I knew it, I wasn't mad any more. I was just laughing.

Andrew is going to be a famous cartoonist one day, either through his comic strips or as an animator for Pixar. He's got so much incredible talent. There may be some people out there who can draw a little better (not many, though, I'd wager), but I doubt there are any that have the same combination of artistic ability and humor. If Pixar were ever to sign him on, they would be a lucky company indeed. His brand of humor would fit in seamlessly, and make their films even funnier than they already are.

I'm so proud of Andrew. He's tall, handsome, talented, smart, and he has good strong morals. I don't think there are any future "Mrs. Andrew"s on the horizon, but when he does get married one day, the woman who wins his heart will be extremely lucky - and will have no doubt of it. He's one of my very favorite brothers.

Another favorite is Daniel. He and I have always been close, probably because we're 7 years apart. Andrew and Lyssa were too close to me in age, they were competition growing up. Daniel just loved me, and I loved him. More than any of the other siblings, he would do whatever I asked. If I wanted a glass of water, he would get up and get me one. I realize this makes me sound like a cruel older sister, bossing him around, but I don't think it was that way. He would do things for me, and I would do things for him.

Now that Daniel is grown up and almost 19, he's still one of my absolute favorite brothers. He somehow grew up a lot less nerdy than the rest of us. While we were getting gum put in our hair, he was smooching the cute girl in his kindergarten class on the bus home. While we were singing and dancing onstage like the theater weirdos we are, he was bringing home sports trophies. While we got teased, he made friends. He was always the coolest of the kids in my family. That certainly hasn't changed, although I admit the rest of us have become pretty hip as well. He has us beat by a wide margin.

Daniel is one of the sweetest kids in the world. He always stops by for a visit when he's in town. He babysat my daughter for a week while my husband and I went on vacation for our anniversary. He spent an entire summer last year watching our daughter at night so we could be in a musical theater production. He's completely selfless. He's also extremely funny, strong, handsome, talented, and has good morals. Those are some things that my brothers have in common. They're just good, amazing people.

I'm going to miss Daniel like crazy when I move. I feel a little cheated of time with him, seeing as how I left for college when he was 11. Now that we're living in the same area again, I'm leaving. It's sad. I would really like to be able to get to know him more now, as an adult. Most of my fond memories are from childhood. I missed his teenage angst years completely. Now he's this incredible young man, and I don't know him as well as I wish I did. I know him well enough to know that I love him, and that he's amazing. Because of that, I wish I had more time to learn even more. I've seen so many great things about him, it would be nice to be able to see even deeper (No "that's what she said" joke, Daniel!). He's got a great heart.

My sister just got married in August. I'm so proud of her. Lyssa has always been like my conscience, telling me (and the boys) when we were doing things that were stupid. Growing up, we didn't like that a lot. But looking back, I'm so grateful that she was like that. She probably kept us on the straight and narrow more than we did on our own. I wish I had been kinder to her growing up. I guess she was always my greatest competition when we were children, the other daughter. She was prettier than me, more outgoing than me, sweeter than me... everyone loved her. It was hard to stand next to her and feel like I was a disappointment. I know that wasn't the case, and she would be mad if she knew I felt that way (which I guess will happen when she reads this), but that's how it felt at the time. I was a little jealous and in awe of her, all at the same time.

So of course I teased her mercilessly. It probably didn't help that her sweetness made her prone to getting upset when we teased her. The boys would tease back, and make it fun. Lyssa, when she was little, had a hard time with that. I'm thrilled to say that, as she got older, she started giving as good as she was given. I remember the first time I teased her about something, and she zinged me right back. I don't remember the specifics, just a sense of shock and pride. I was so excited! She was finally dishing it back - and she was good. Very good.

Lyssa has become one of the funniest people I know (they all seem to be family members. Weird, huh? I guess I just have a hilarious family). Yet she's still as beautiful, sweet, and good-hearted as she was growing up. She has, I admit, developed a taste (obsession?) for violent contact sports, but I suppose nobody's perfect. :D Just kidding, Lu. I think it's great.

Anyway, this past August she got married to Lewis Young. Since I call her Lu, and he is also a Lew (same sound, different spellings), they are now officially "Two Lou Young". (see how I went with a completely different spelling of "Lou" so as to not play favorites?) I like the sound of it, it sounds like an Asian entree. "Yes, I'd like some lo mein, a couple of eggrolls, and a side of two lou young." He's a great guy. He's smart enough to realize how lucky he is to be married to my sister.

They'll make great parents one day. I know they're not in any rush, and it's probably smart to worry about graduating from college first, but it's exciting to know that someday they will have kids, and they'll be incredible parents. That's one thing I've always known about Lyssa. She will be a mother to put all other mothers to shame. Those are some lucky future kids.

Lyssa is probably the one person, besides Ben, that I can tell anything to. I can tell her things that I'd feel weird telling my mom, and I tell my mom everything. I once told Lyssa that I knew that if anything bad happened to me, or Ben, or Evie, she'd be there in a heartbeat. No matter how far away I was living, she'd be there as fast as she possibly could. I still have no doubts about that. Her capacity for empathy is unbelievable. If Ben died fighting in Afghanistan, or Evie got sick and had to be put in the hospital, Lyssa would be there. She'd have her arms around me, one hand patting my back, telling me that everything will be all right. She'd probably even be crying with me. She sees into people's hearts better than anyone I know. She understands what they're feeling, and is able to mourn with those that mourn. She also understands people's joy. That's why she's such a great friend, and an incredible sister. My favorite sister, in fact!

I have the two absolute best parents in the world, and a baby brother (okay, he's 8) that I want to steal and keep forever because he's so adorable, but this entry isn't about them. (Sorry, Mom, Dad and Joseph!!!) I'm sure I'll write about them another time. But this blog is about the three amazing, life-changing, beautiful people that I'm leaving behind when I move.

They're the siblings that I grew up with, the three people (non-parent) that most shaped the person I am today. All the best things about me are in good part thanks to them. Having them in my life, my three best friends, has been a blessing of epic proportions. Leaving them behind is painful. Just saying goodbye after a lunch date or surprise visit, even when I still have a few weeks left, is hard. I know that I only have so many chances to spend time with them before I move.

Moving will be good, my little family and I will have great adventures (and hopefully a few more kids). We'll meet new people and learn new things. But it's still hard to leave Andrew, Lyssa, and Daniel behind. I have no doubt that I'll see them all again, it just won't be as frequent as I've grown accustomed to. I'm going to miss them like crazy.

I love you guys.

2 comments:

Alyssa said...

You stupid jerk, you made me cry! Just kidding...about the jerk thing, not the crying thing...you wrote some really sweet things. I'll try not to make it go to my head. You are the best sister ever! Also: I love the idea of an Asian dish called two lou young. But I would like to point out that both of the letters of my lu are represented in lou, as opposed to Lewis's lew. That is all. Love you lots.

FOOTBALL ROCKS!!! WOOOOOOO GO COUGARS!!!!!!!

Kristi Hirschi said...

Cassie...that was beautiful! You are so awesome. Thanks for always being the kind of person to share your love and show your love. I love you!!