Just Because...

I wrote this on Facebook after saying a lot of the same kinds of things to Ben. We weren't arguing or anything, I was just trying to explain how I feel sometimes. I feel like I'm judged for one aspect of myself or another, good or bad, a lot of the time. Some people see me as a talented musician, and not much more. Some people see me as a barren womb. Some people see me as a "Mormon," as if that's all that defines me. Some people see me as a goofball. Some people just see me as a chubby weirdo. Some people see me as a performer - hopefully, a good one.

The problem is that, once you judge someone like that, it's hard to see what else they have to offer. You're limiting yourself by your judgments and definitions of what a person "is."

And it's not just me, of course. People judge each other that way all the time. A great example is how the homosexual population is often portrayed. A lot of people who don't understand or have experience with homosexuals just define them as "gay" and leave it at that, as if that is all you need to know about a person.

Back in the day, not so long ago, people were defined by the color of their skin, or their nationality. This isn't a new thing.

We may be moving past those kinds of extreme snap judgments as a whole, but we still tend to define each other one way or another, often by considering only a single aspect of a person's personality. So I wrote this to explain that I'm more than just any one aspect of myself. I am many things, some good, and some bad. And I liked it, so I'm putting it here in my blog, too.

*****

Just because I'm musical doesn't mean I have no other talents to offer.

Just because I'm a milspouse doesn't mean I'm strong, and that's it's easy to be separated from my husband.

Just because I'm infertile doesn't mean that I don't love and appreciate Evie. And it doesn't mean I resent people who ARE fertile!

Just because I seem confident doesn't mean I'm not a weeping mess on a regular basis.

Just because I have an awesome husband and daughter doesn't mean my life - or my family - is perfect. We have our struggles just like everyone else.

Just because I like to laugh and be silly doesn't mean I'm a dummy.

Just because I'm generally well-liked doesn't mean I have a lot of friends.

Just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I'm not beautiful.

Just because some people think I'm beautiful doesn't mean I have great self-esteem.

Just because I'm religious doesn't mean I'm crazy.

And just because I'm kind of emotional and hormonal at the moment doesn't mean that there's no value in the things I've just said.

Never judge a person on just one aspect of themselves. Whether it's positive or negative, you're shutting yourself off to all the other things they have to offer. We're all three-dimensional beings, myself included.