The Coping Cabana

The "coping cabana!" Wokka wokka!

No, this post is actually just about coping. In general. No cabanas included.

But I did have some fun making up the title for this post. ;) It's because I'm a dork, you see.

To more serious matters. I am thankful for the ability to cope.

I suppose it all comes down to the fact that the Lord won't give us any trials that we can't handle. He won't test us beyond what we're able to endure. So coping is something that everyone should, ideally, be able to do.

We don't always choose to cope. Sometimes it just seems easier to throw in the towel and spend a day or two in bed. But we do have the actual ability to handle whatever comes our way.

I find that this skill is rarely more tested in my life than it is when Ben is deployed.

It's kind of a long-standing military tradition, I suppose. I know for a fact that almost every milspouse has experienced this phenomena. What happens is this: As soon as the spouse deploys (or is gone for any extended period of time), everything suddenly goes wrong. And it happens at a much greater rate than it does when the hubby is home.

I'm not sure what the term for this phenomena would be. Let's call it, "Shirley."

So, in true Shirley tradition, this past month has been full of stressful little adventures.

First, the very day that Ben deployed, my laptop informed me that it was going to die. Ben being my tech guy, this was a major Shirley. BUT, I coped! I found a wonderful, selfless friend on Facebook who fixed everything for me. It stressed me out a bit, but things all came together. I just ended up having to buy a new hard drive, and a gift card to thank my friend for her help. No big deal.

Then, the hotel we had cancelled due to Ben's deployment date changing decided not to refund us our money, in spite of their assurance that they would do so (because Ben had military orders, which they said they would honor). Even though we faxed the orders in the very moment we officially got them, they said "Oh, you waited too long. We can't guarantee you'll get your money back." Seeing as how we had paid for two nights, in advance, this was a big, fat Shirley. Especially since there are always more expenses when your hubby is getting ready to deploy, so we were already shorter on cash than usual.

That Shirley was a bit of a blow. But we got through it. We never got our money back, but sometimes these things just happen. We coped.

The next Shirley wasn't so big - I just got a fairly nasty cold for a few days. The hardest part about that was not having any help at home. I still had to get Evie to school, dance, and karate. I had to make sure she bathed, and brushed her teeth, and got three meals a day. I had to do everything I usually do, but while battling some serious sniffles and sinus pain. It really made me appreciate how much easier everything is when Ben is home to help. But I coped!

Last night we had another Shirley. It was quite an adventure. Around 7 pm, our power suddenly went off, through most of the neighborhood. And since the sun had long since set, it was pitch black. It wasn't such a big deal for me, but Evie was alone in the living room and got a fairly big scare. Luckily, I had my cell phone in my hands and was able to turn on the flashlight app and go lead her back to my room.

Unfortunately, there were no working flashlights in the house (go figure), and only one candle. That's what I get for switching over from candles to Scentsy, I suppose. And while we had my cell phone, it was about to die, too. But, I lit our one candle, and gave Evie my iPad so she could have something to play with that didn't rely on an external power source, and so she could calm down a bit.

I have to admit, I started to worry about what we would do if the outage went on for too long. The food in our fridge and freezer would go bad. We couldn't get our cars out of the garage too easily, because the garage door openers were dead. My phone was dying, too, so how would we call for help if we needed it?

I figured out that I could get Ben's adapter from his car and charge my phone using the car battery. But just as I was getting ready to do that, after an hour of no power, it all came back on. In spite of the lack of light sources and electricity, we'd made it through the blackout with only minimal freaked-outedness on Evie's part. And in spite of the fact that neither The Amazing Race or Once Upon A Time was able to record because of the power outage, WE COPED!

(I wasn't very happy about that last part, but hey. I coped!)

Then today, while I was sitting on the couch, painting my nails... something bit me. It was another Shirley, this time in the form of ants. Big ones. Several of them, all over my couch.

I was baffled. Our couch isn't near any doors, windows, or even outside walls. There were no food sources nearby. But there were ants, all over the area where I'd been sitting!!!

I immediately ran and changed my clothes, in case they were on me. Those bites hurt, man!

Then I spent the next half hour spraying ant poison all over my couch (lovely!), vacuuming the couch - and the floor all around the couch - and trying to figure out where the heck they were coming from!!!

I never did figure it out. But I haven't seen any since I sprayed and vacuumed the heck out of those tiny Shirleys. So hopefully they're gone and it's over.

That one was a particularly aggravating Shirley. That's definitely something that I would have preferred to have Ben's help with! But guess what? I coped.

It wasn't fun. Coping rarely is. The very term suggests dealing with something unpleasant. But in spite of the unpleasantness, we're still able to do it.

I'm thankful that I have the ability to deal with the crazy stuff that happens in life - especially the things I have to deal with on my own. It's much more aggravating when Ben is gone and stuff like this happens. But God doesn't give me anything I can't handle. And so far, the Shirleys haven't caused me too much difficulty. Not like the Shirley we had last year, when Evie ended up in the hospital with pneumonia while Ben was in training for six months in Little Rock... But that's another story.

The moral of this blog entry is, I'm grateful that I can deal with all the crazy life throws at me.

Although I would also be very grateful if Shirley would keep her distance for a while. ;)