Today, I want to talk about how thankful I am for prayer.
Today has been a bit more difficult than usual. Some days it's just harder to be separated from Ben, and this has been one of those days. I miss him like crazy. The prospect of Thanksgiving and Christmas coming and going without Ben being here is a difficult one to contemplate. These holidays are all about love, and family, and the greatest blessings in our lives (aka, love and family). ;)
Yes, there's a lot of focus on other things, too, especially from a spiritual perspective. Obviously our focus around Christmas is on the Savior, and Thanksgiving is all about the blessings God gives us. But God is a God of love. Families are central to His plan. So family plays an integral part of the holidays.
That's why it's so hard to have Ben gone during this time of year. And the real kicker is that my closest family is still about an 18-hour drive away. So I can't even go spend time with them for Thanksgiving. It's just going to be Evie and me, eating pizza and watching movies. Christmas will be better, because my awesome brother is coming, but our Thanksgiving will be kind of lonely.
Aside: To be fair, people from here in Abilene have invited me over for Thanksgiving, but I'm such a homebody. I'm never that comfortable at other people's houses, unless they're family members or freakishly close friends who are practically family - and even then, I prefer to be the host. I'm just way more comfortable in my own home. I realize that this makes me seem ungrateful for the friends who have issued invitations, but I'm really not. I'm touched that so many people are thinking of us. It's my own fault we're going to be alone, I know! I should just stop complaining! I'm just weird, I guess. Without family or freaky friends here for Thanksgiving, I really do prefer to stay home with just me and Evie.
Evie is wonderful. She's my heart. I love her more than just about anything in this world. But for all of her light and sweetness, she's seven years old. And sometimes Mommy just needs a grown-up to talk to.
I have friends to talk to, and I can talk to Ben even though he's in Qatar. But not all the time. Sometimes people are busy with their own lives. Ben is often asleep over in the Middle East when I'm awake here. And sometimes I don't feel like picking up the phone just to make someone listen to my complaints. I don't want to be an annoyance to people. And while I know my friends and family would (probably) never see me as an annoyance, that doesn't mean that I want to test that theory.
So when I'm feeling particularly lonely, and desperate to just spill all the overwhelming feelings that are in my heart and mind, I pray.
I did that today. After church, I came home and lay down on my bed, and just told Heavenly Father, "This is really hard. I'm lonely, and I miss Ben, and I wish that, somehow, I could be with my family for Thanksgiving."
It went on like that for several more minutes.
And when I was done, I felt an incredible amount of peace in my heart. I could feel God's love and comfort. It was His way of letting me know that He's here for me, and I can lean on Him.
Prayer is amazing. It really is a two-way conversation between us and God, if only we're willing to listen to what He has to tell us. And He's one person who I know for a fact will never get annoyed with my venting and complaining - at least, as long as it's not coming from a selfish or prideful place. When my heart is aching, I can talk to Him about it, and He will give me comfort.
Obviously I don't only talk to Him to complain. I pray to Him every day, about what I need, how I feel, and how grateful I am to Him for all of the incredible blessings in my life. It wouldn't be right to just pray when I need something. It's important to keep up a conversation with Him on a daily basis. That's how I get to know Him better, and strengthen my relationship with Him. It's also how I can learn to understand what He's trying to tell me when He responds to my prayers.
Prayer is such an amazing tool. And it's one that Heavenly Father wants us to use. He wants to hear from us. He wants us to talk to Him. He wants us to develop our relationship with Him. And He always, always answers our prayers. We just have to be willing to take the time to tell Him what's in our hearts.
I'm grateful for prayer, and for my relationship with God. Because of prayer, I know that I'm never really alone, no matter how lonely I may be feeling. There is always someone I can talk to; someone who can, and will, help me.
 |
| This makes me smile. :) |
No comments:
Post a Comment