Thanksgiving Countdown, Day 21: Parental Entities

I considered entitling this post, "The 'Rents are Due," as in "my parents are due for a shout-out," but I wasn't sure anyone would get it. So I went with "Parental Entities" instead, because it's fun to say.

I'll wait a minute while you try it out. Really enunciate those t's for proper effect.

Fun, right?

Me with my moste excellente parents on my wedding day!

So, today Ben and I did our first six-hour foster certification training. It was a beast. Six hours of any topic is pretty brutal, and with Ben at the end of his already long day (since he's working the night shift these days), he was exhausted. Which made him act cranky. Which came across as kind of rude. Which meant that I had to compensate by being unfailingly cheerful, even though I wanted to give Ben a look. 

Anyway, it was a long day. But well worth it if it helps us adopt our kiddos!

The thing I really realized from the class today was this: my parents are awesome. Ben's parents are also awesome. We've been seriously blessed in the parental department. And I stopped to recognize that today especially, because all the kids we heard about in our six-hour class all had parents at the far opposite end of the spectrum. That's why they're in foster care. That's why the parental rights of the birth parents are being terminated. These are some seriously terrible human beings, who have caused their innocent children unimaginable pain and suffering.

Ben's amazing parents with little Evie!

It's one of those things that makes it even harder when I think about my infertility. We're good people, and good parents, but we can't seem to have more children to save our lives. But people who use their children as ash trays, punching bags, and any other number of horrible things are perfectly fertile.

It really makes you realize how unfair life can be.

But, that being said, we have an opportunity now to save a couple of those anguished children, and bring them into a home where they'll be safe and loved. It's such a blessing. We have the chance to be the kind of parents these kids - heck, all the kids! - deserve.

We have the chance to be for them what our parents were for us. We get to be teachers, healers, therapists, nurses, chauffeurs, cooks, guidance counselors, companions, friends... good parents.

World's greatest parental entities

My parents were all of those things for me. And Ben's were for him. It's kind of funny, because when we compare notes from our childhoods, we had very different upbringings. Our parents' styles were definitely not the same. But we both knew we were loved. We knew our parents cared about us, and our thoughts, dreams, and achievements. We knew they wanted us to succeed. And we knew they wanted, more than anything, for us to be happy.

That's really the key to being a good parent. Love your kids, and help them grow up to become the best versions of themselves. Yes, that generally means laying down rules, giving your kids chores, teaching them responsibility. It's not mean to teach your children to work. It's a good thing to teach them humility, and help them learn to apologize. It's important to teach your kids that actions have consequences. It's necessary that they learn to be empathetic and kind, if they're truly to become their best selves.

Ben with his parents at his pilot training graduation dinner

Raising kids isn't easy. They're a lot of work, and we have such a responsibility to do a good job. You have to watch everything you say and do, to make sure that you're giving them the best example possible. You need to be aware of how your words and actions will be interpreted. You have to give your kids room to develop their own personalities, and to learn who they are, while still giving them structure.

I could go on and on. It's a tough job, being a parent. Sometimes you really begin to understand why some animals eat their own young... But then your kids give you a hug, or do one of those great laughs that only tiny kids are capable of, or say, "I love you." And you remember why it's so worth it.

Ben and I have had wonderful examples in our own parents. They really helped us see the best way to raise our own children. They raised us with so much love, patience, and kindness. We were both so incredibly blessed to have such fantastic parents.

Thank you, Mom(s) and Dad(s), for helping us be our best. I hope we can do our own kids as much good as you all did for us. :)

Also: fantastic grandparents!