Things I Learned on My Vacation

I've been on vacation for the past six weeks, visiting my family in Idaho and Utah. About a week into the trip, I saw things and learned things that amused me, so I began keeping a record. Now that my vacation is over, I can share my wisdom with all of you lovely people!

1 - Menopause is no big deal. (Granted, I have less estrogen than most women, so that's probably why it's been a breeze for me.)

2 - Nobody wants to see your butt crack, no matter how cute a bum you may think you have.

3 - Trampolines are way more fun when they're wet.

4 - Revving your engine repeatedly at a red light does not make you look cool. You just look like an idiot. Especially when you're the only one doing it.

5 - Bugs on a windshield make a lovely abstract photo.

6 - If your brother is grouchy, and no attempt to cheer him up is working, try presenting him with a wiener dog to play with.

7 - My little wiener dog, Bones, is a bit of a masochist. He's happiest when getting his butt kicked by my parents' big chocolate lab, Bella.

8 - No matter how old he gets, I can still get my younger brother to cross-dress.

9 - The house must always be tidied up before the maid gets there to clean it.

10 - Flash floods can create wonderful swimming holes in the street in front of one's house. 

11 - Some people just look better when they're pixellated.

12 - New babies can never have too many "My Aunt is the best!" onesies.

13 - No matter how nice a guy may smell in person, his bedroom is probably stinky.

14 - Wiener dogs are escape artists, and prefer to make their escape while people are actually playing with them in the (fenced-in) back yard. I believe this is referred to in the doggie world as "showing off."

15 - If you take a party-sized bag of M'n'Ms downstairs, forget about them, and your brother eats them all, you're the one who gets the blame.

16 - Apparently my brother, Joseph, will let just about anybody pick his nose - including Chuck Norris.

17 - The Mad Hatter looks best when portrayed by a fabulous four-year-old girl.

18 - It's hard to hit a tennis ball with a tee-ball bat when your pants are falling down.

19 - If you want your kid to eat veggies, let her pick them from the garden herself and eat them with her bare hands.

20 - Preparing to send your child to school for the first time will be far scarier for you than for your child.

21 - Dancing, swimming, and jumping on a trampoline are the world's best forms of exercise. Hands down.

22 - People are incredibly stupid about their pets.

23 - Who needs makeup when you have pink markers?

24 - I'm terrible at remembering how to cut my brother's hair. When I do remember, I do fine. But when I don't remember, horrifying things happen. Note to self: Razor for Ben, SCISSORS for Daniel!!!!

25 - Evie's hips don't lie.

26 - Actual working road construction workers are more elusive and impossibly rare than leprechauns.

27 - More than 8 hours of sleep a night will make me fat. Less than 9 will make me cranky.

28 -  Any prolonged conversation with a pregnant woman will inevitably turn to the wonders (aka "horrors") of childbirth and a competition to see who has given birth to the biggest baby. (Evie was 9 lbs 3 oz. Just sayin'.)

29 - My 11-year-old brother, Joseph, will make a wonderful mother someday.

30 - Just because you can squeeze into a size 2 bikini doesn't mean you should, folks. Muffin tops and fat rolls = not cute.

31 - If you want to see tacky, badly-dressed people who apparently don't own a mirror, there are better places to go than Wal-Mart. Try the Idaho Falls Fourth of July celebration. Wow. Just... wow.

32 -  Heckling children's camp skits is fun! Also, said heckling is generally frowned upon by said children's parental units.

33 - There's a real life person named "Fritz Schmutz"!!! Awesome, right??? I'm so jealous.

34 - Inside jokes are always funny, even long after the meaning behind them has been forgotten. Mraaah. Gimmie a fish.

 And finally, the strangest of all:

35  - People back home in Abilene actually miss me when I'm gone! Crazy, huh?

There! Now that I've passed my vacation wisdom on to you, go forth and discover knowledge of your own! ;)

Overactive Imagination

I inherited something super-fun from my mother, who, as I've recently learned, seems to have inherited it from her mother. It's called "an overactive imagination."

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this particular issue, let me explain. What happens is usually something along these lines: "I haven't talk to so-and-so lately, even though they said they'd call. They must be dead."

There's also the ever-popular "I have a really bad headache today. I wonder if it's a brain tumor?"

And, "I heard a faint noise in my house. It's the middle of the night. I'd better grab the nearest weapon (aka, a safety razor from the bathroom) and go make sure my daughter isn't being kidnapped."

My mother and I (and probably my grandma, too) all recognize that we have this problem. We're completely aware that our fears are almost certainly unfounded. We even laugh about it. But not until after we know for sure that our fears were not, in fact, realized.

Don't get me wrong, though. It's not like I spend all my time in a perpetual state of worry. And I'm not a hypochondriac. I've never once actually gone to the doctor because of headaches that might be brain tumors. I recognize that it's just my overactive imagination at work, and let it go.

But when something unexpected happens, like a sound in the night, my imagination goes into overdrive. I find myself in a state of extreme nervousness. I have to make sure all is well before I can relax.

And that's what I'm waiting for today. My husband is deployed at the moment, so naturally I fear for his safety. But I hear from him every day, which reassures me and keeps my imagination at bay. The problem is, I haven't heard from him since Wednesday. Today is supposed to be his day off from flying, so there's no reason he should be unreachable. And yet, I can't reach him.

My mind is telling me that it's silly to be worried. He's probably fine. He may be napping, or at the gym. And maybe he got in so late last night that we just didn't get a chance to talk. There's no reason to be freaking out yet.

And I'm not freaking out. But, thanks to my overactive imagination, I'm slowly getting there.

Let's face facts! He is in a dangerous situation. He's fighting a war, for crying out loud! He's living in a part of the world where there are multitudes of people who want to kill him, and every other member of our military. Granted, since he's a pilot, he's probably safer than a lot of the other servicemen and women. But that doesn't mean that he's guaranteed to be safe. When someone is in the military, there's always a greater chance that they'll be killed or wounded, compared to those who work in regular jobs, like accounting or plumbing. So my fears aren't completely unreasonable.

So that's where I'm at today. Worrying about my husband, and trying to convince myself that it's just my imagination working overtime. To be fair, it probably is just my imagination. There's no reason to assume the worst. But I can't seem to help it.

It's in my genes.

The Calm After the Storm

I realized today why it is that I don't write in my blog much anymore.

Writing is a catharsis. It helps me vent my frustration in a non-violent way. Over the past four (almost) years, as we've struggled with infertility, I've turned to this blog to try and express my feelings.

This year, though, I've finally reached the point where I'm okay. And now that I'm okay, I don't feel the need to vent anymore. Ergo, no blogs.

But that isn't really fair. For anyone who actually reads this blog, all they've seen are the negative, venting, frustrated feelings that I've expressed. They haven't seen the resolution. I've kept it to myself.

So, even though I've already written one blog entry today, I'm going to write another one and explain the change that has overcome me in the past 6 months or so.

On Christmas Eve of last year, we did a candle-passing with Ben's family. It's a family tradition. What happens is, we turn off the lights, sit in a circle, and pass a candle around. When it's your turn to take the candle, you share with everyone a gift that you want to give to the Savior. It's kind of like making a New Year's resolution, only more meaningful.

When it was my turn to take the candle, I had a hard time speaking. The infertility issue had been weighing heavily on me for more than three years. I was tired of feeling bitter, angry, and heartbroken. It had been a very emotional three years. So I said, "For my gift to the Savior this year, I'm going to make a greater effort to embrace His will for me."

That had been the problem all along, of course. I was frustrated because the Lord wasn't blessing me with a child right then, like I wanted Him to. He was making me wait, and in my opinion, it was taking too long. I would panic about the age gap between Evie and the next kid. Every time I thought about how much older Evie would be, I would find myself muttering, "It's too much! It's too much!" I would decide when the best time to get pregnant was, and then spend that month begging the Lord to finally give me a baby. And when He didn't, I always felt hurt and a little bit betrayed.

I wasn't accepting His will. I was trying to make Him accept mine.

So I made my promise to the Savior; that I would to try and change all that.

For the first month, it was still very hard. I had an opportunity to go see Ben on his TDY in Utah during January, right when I was ovulating. I had just had a test done for my infertility, and the doctor said that the test would make my chances of conceiving that month increase. When a friend gave Evie and me free plane tickets to Utah so that Ben and I could try and conceive that month, it felt like a sign that the time was right. It seemed like everything was falling exactly into place, and that it was finally going to happen.

When it didn't, my heart ripped apart all over again.

But I reminded myself of the promise I had made to the Savior. So I took a deep breath, calmed down, and said a prayer. I asked God to bless me with patience, and the ability to not only accept His will for me, but to embrace it.

That became a familiar refrain in each of my prayers after that. I began adding, "if it by Thy will" and "Thy will be done" to everything I said in my prayers. And, miraculously, I truly began to want it.

In just a few short months, the pain in my heart had been healed. Looking back, I'm still astounded by how quickly it happened. I had a complete change of heart. As a result, I'm happier. I have more joy in my life. I feel a greater love for my family, and for the Lord. And, most importantly, I'm at peace when it comes to the infertility issue.

I still firmly believe that we will have more children. I know they're coming. I can already feel them residing in my heart. But I no longer obsess over it. I no longer glare at pregnant women on the street. I no longer compare the number of children others have to the one I've been blessed with. I no longer fight the Lord, or try to make Him do things my way.

My testimony has been increased an hundredfold. I can feel the Lord's arms around me, giving me strength and patience. I can feel His incredible love for me. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that He wants me to be happy. He wants to bless me with every good thing He has to offer. If He isn't blessing me with children right this second, it's because it's not time yet. Everything He does is for a wise purpose. He can see what my life holds, and He knows what will give me the greatest joy. If I continue to trust in Him, and put my life in His hands,

I will have more joy than I can possibly comprehend.

This trial has surely been for my good, and though infertility has been hard, I thank God that I had to go through this. It has made me a better person. I am, one tiny step at a time, becoming the woman God wants me to be.

My heart has been changed. My faith has been increased. My pain has been healed.

All is well.

Pre-K

So, Evie is a smart kid. She doesn't miss much. Her memory is fantastic; she can quote a movie almost word-for-word after seeing it once (if she liked it and was paying attention). She can already count to forty, and could probably go higher if I told her the words for 50, 60, etc. She knows letters and the sounds they make, and can read small words if she feels so inclined. She does basic addition and subtraction in her head.

But she missed the cutoff for kindergarten this year by two weeks.

Sad, isn't it? She's such a little smartie, and she loves learning. She should be in school with all of her friends from church! But she was born two weeks too late.

I decided, therefore, that she needed to do pre-k this year. I didn't do pre-k, and in fact, it's only recently that I even heard of it, but I knew she needed to do some kind of schooling. She's just too bored at home. So I started looking around, and pre-k seems like the thing to do.

The great part is, it's free for military dependents in Abilene.

The downside is, there are a LOT of military families in Abilene. Couple that with the kids who qualify for free lunches, and what you get is too many kids and not enough spots in pre-k.

There's a school registration fair for military families on base in August, so I'm going to try to sign her up then. My assumption is, if the school representatives are coming to the registration fair, they must have some slots open. I'm praying that we get one.

But now that I've got it all planned out, the reality is starting to sink in. From what I understand, pre-k is just like regular school. She'll be gone for most of the day, five days a week. For almost five years now she's been my shadow, my little buddy, my constant companion. Now, with Ben being gone so much between deployments and TDYs, I'm going to be alone a lot of the time.

I'm not afraid of being alone. In fact, part of me is looking forward to it. But the other part is starting to PANIC!!!

I'm going to miss her, for one thing. She's such a fun kid, and I love having her around all the time, so that will be hard. But this is also a sign that she's growing up. Once they start school, they don't stop until after they've moved out of the house! Never again will I have my tiny shadow with me all day, every day. There will be summers, yes, but that's just a few weeks out of every year. Then she'll be gone all day again.

The biggest source of my anxiety, though, is that I will no longer be her lone source of answers and teaching moments. She'll be surrounded by different kinds of people, many with different kinds of values, who will have all different kinds of influences on her. Of course, I'll still be an influence at home. But how long will it be before she thinks I'm

lame, and starts turning to other people for guidance instead of me?

All I can do is pray that she makes good friends, friends who will help her make good choices. That's the scariest thing. She will no longer be under my lone influence, in my controlled environment all the time. She's taking her first steps out into the real world. And I'm afraid of what might happen.

But she's a smart kid. She's already got a testimony, and isn't afraid to share her values with other people. She may even be an good influence on other kids. I know she'll be a good example.

It's a little bit terrifying to let my baby step out into the world,

and grow up. But I've got God on my side, and I know that He wants what's best for her, just like I do. Between Him, me, and my wonderful husband, she's got a good team of people watching out for her. I've just got to trust in Him, and keep doing my best to raise her right when she's at home.

It's a scary thing, but it's a wonderful thing, too.

A Two-Way Street

Wow! I really don't blog much anymore, do I? Well, hopefully I can get back into it this summer, while my husband is deployed and I don't have a lot to do. :)

I was thinking the other day (weird, I know), and I realized that, while I have lots of friends, I don't have many close friends. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I moved around so much growing up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset about my upbringing! I think moving around was a wonderful thing for me, and is the reason that I became the person I am today. Moving around gave me experiences that I never would have had if I'd lived in the same place all my life. It made me a more open-minded, tolerant, understanding person than I probably would have been. You can't live in a dozen different places without getting to know hundreds of different kinds of people, and seeing the good in all of them, no matter how different they are from you.

So yeah, even though I hated it at the time, I absolutely see the value in the way I was raised. That's why I have no problem with being married to a military man, and raising my own children the same way. I know it will be really good for them.

The problem with moving around, though, is that it's really hard to make lasting friendships when you only get to know someone for a year or two. Once you move away, that pretty much fizzles out the relationship. At least, it's always been that way for me. I do have a few friends that I still keep in touch with, but it's just not the same once you don't live close by anymore. And most people, unfortunately, are pretty terrible at keeping in touch. I know, I'm one of them! There may be some contact through emails and sites like Facebook, but there's not much.

Sometimes it strikes me how sad it is that I don't have very many close friends. But, to be honest, my family are my best friends. And my husband is my absolute best friend in the entire world. So I can't complain. I've got it pretty good.

Still, women need other women to talk to. We're social animals, and we need that kind of interaction! I'm fairly good at introducing myself to people, although it takes me a while to get really comfortable with them. I manage to make a few friends everywhere I go. The thing is, though, that most people do have several close friends. Most people don't grow up moving all over the world. So, when I make friends with people, even though they consider me a friend, they rarely consider me to be one of their close friends.

For me, though, they are my closest friends! I don't have anyone else. So it's kind of unbalanced. There's always a sense of "I like them more than they like me." I'm not saying that my friends don't like me! But there's usually someone else that they like more. Someone may be my best friend, but I'm not usually theirs.

Again, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to sound sad or pitiful! I have a fantastic life, and I'm content with the way things turned out. I'm just trying to explain how most of my friendships tend to feel, so that you'll understand just how GREAT the next part is!

Here in Abilene, I feel like I've finally found a friend who actually likes me as much as I like her! Crazy, right? It's so great!

Part of it working out that way is probably due to the fact that her family moved here just a couple of weeks before we did. So, when we got here, she still hadn't had a chance to make many friends. The door was wide open. We each recognized that both of us were new, and decided that, since we didn't really have friends here yet, we'd befriend each other.

We were talking about it a couple of weeks ago, actually. One of our first weeks here in Abilene, I ended up sitting next to this fabulous lady at church. She mentioned that her husband was our home teacher, and we chatted for a while. I went home and told Ben, "I'm totally going to be friends with her." Little did I know, she said the same thing about me, to her husband! How funny is that!

It didn't happen right away, of course. She was so cool, and so pretty, that I wasn't entirely sure that she'd want to hang out with a geek like me (I'm not really as confident as I pretend to be). But she was totally friendly, too, and as time went by, we became friends. Now, she's my absolute favorite person in Abilene (excluding my daughter and hubby, of course. Family first!). We talk on Facebook, and I end up laughing so hard that Ben has to check on me to make sure I'm not having a stroke. We hang out, our kids play together, we come up with evil schemes, and hold wagers on things like who can read Harry Potter the fastest. We're planning a sleepover for when our husbands are both out of town. She even let me give her a makeover (not that she needed it)! What, are we 12??? Yeah, pretty much.

I'm actually looking forward to being here in Abilene for the next three years. As much as I hate how hot it is, and as much as I hate Ben having to be deployed all the time, I get the impression that I may finally be forming a lasting friendship. I have the feeling that, once one or the other of us moves away, that's not going to be the end of it. I have very few friends that I can say that about, so it's really exciting!

I could be entirely wrong, of course. Maybe she doesn't actually like me as much as I like her. But if that's the case, she hides it well, so that's good enough for me. It's such an odd feeling, having that kind of friendship! It's great, though!

It's like I told her the other day, "I'm sorry you had to move to Abilene, but I'm so glad you're here!"

A Year in Retrospect

So, I haven't blogged in a long time. For some reason, I just don't do it much anymore. So I thought I'd take a page out of my sister's book, and talk about the past year.

In January, we were living in Oklahoma while Ben was finishing up his pilot training. The weather was nuts! One day, we had clear, beautiful spring weather, and the very next day we had our biggest snowstorm of the season. We attempted to make a snowman, but it really wasn't packing snow, so he was more of a snow blob. We loved him anyway.

Evie started dance classes, and she was loving it! We assumed we would be in Oklahoma until May, at least. We even booked a cruise based on this belief. After all, it was how things seemed to go for every other pilot graduate. They had a couple of months after graduation to get ready to move and to do some of their survival training. Why should we be any different?

The next month, we discovered that Ben's first post would be to fly C-130s in Texas! On a list of 23 possibilities, it was probably our 20th choice. Lucky us. Most people get somewhere in their top 5 choices. We were (understandably, I think) less than thrilled.

Graduation was good, though. Some of Ben's family got to come out and celebrate with us. Ben looked so handsome in his uniform, it almost made me feel better about the fact that they were shipping him off for water training immediately. And after water training, they sent him straight to Little Rock for 6 months of C-130 training. Literally right after. I think he got to come home for half a day. This meant that, not only did we have to cancel our cruise and pull Evie out of dance classes, I got to pack up our entire house completely by myself! Thanks, Air Force!

When we got to Little Rock in March, we bought a new car. Yay! We love him. Evie named him "Big Jet" after the bad guy in Little Einsteins. She'd already named our Camry "Rocket Car," after Rocket in the same show, so it seemed only fair. She did insist, however, that our Big Jet is a good guy. He's an '08 Rav4 and we love him - especially now that Rocket Car is starting to die. We went to buy Big Jet on a Monday, which meant he had to spend the whole time in his blues uniform. Poor Ben.

Also in March, Evie insisted that I take a bunch of pictures of her in her dance clothes. That girl LOVES to have her picture taken! And she's so adorable - how could I resist?

In April, of course, we had Easter. We were in a small, 2-bedroom apartment, and didn't have most of our furniture with us. Needless to say, there weren't a lot of good hiding places. But we did our best, and Evie enjoyed the Easter egg hunt, so I guess it was a success!

We went with a group of other parents and kids to watch the ducks march down the red carpet at the Peabody Hotel later in April. They come strutting down the red carpet to a John Philip Sousa marching tune, then climb the stairs into the fountain in the lobby and swim around there for a while. It was very cute, and extremely weird.

Evie participated in her first talent show in April, too! She sang "Once Upon a Dream" with her Dad. It took some work to get her started, but once she did start singing, she stole the show. At least, that's my opinion.

Ben got promoted to 2nd Lieutenant in May! Hooray for Ben! Hooray for a pay raise!

Near the end of May we had a long weekend, so the three of us and our friend Grant drove to Six Flags in Dallas. We played all that day, then stayed at a hotel that night. The next day, we went to the Ripley's Museum and the attached wax museum. We also went through a mirror maze. It was really fun, although not as fun as the cruise would have been. Yes, I'm still a little bitter.

Ben's birthday was at the very end of May, and I threw him a surprise party. Thank goodness he takes after my Dad, and is extremely easy to surprise. I love that about him. Evie asked me to get him a pinata, and helped me pick out a dinosaur for him. Besides Evie, there were no kids, only Air Force officers. So I got a soft bat, in the hopes that it would make the pinata last longer. No such luck - Katie decapitated the poor thing almost immediately. I should have seen it coming. Katie is freaking awesome.

We also went ice skating at the end of May. It was Evie's first time. She had a blast. Ben and me, not so much. You see, Evie's idea of ice skating is to dangle all of her dead weight from her parents' arms and let them slide her around the ice. It may look to the untrained eye like she's got a little of her weight on her skates, but trust me, she doesn't. It was the best workout I'd had all year!

In June, I had a birthday and Evie hit a couple of milestones. She was invited to her first birthday party. She got a big-girl bike with training wheels (it was a bike party), and ended up having her Dad push her most of the way. Still, she had fun, and she won the egg-carrying race for her team. :)

Evie also learned how to put her whole head under the water at the pool in June! I was so impressed, I don't think I ever got really comfortable with it until I was in swimming lessons. Evie is fearless. She'll even open her eyes underwater.

And, of course, in June we went to see Toy Story 3. We loved it so much that we immediately went to the store and spend about $60 on toys just like the ones in the movie. Curse you and your incredible movies, Pixar!!!

In July we decided that we might try looking into adoption. We saw, though, that we couldn't start the process until we moved to Texas, so it got put off for a while. We did take some nice adoption portfolio pictures, though, thanks to my beautiful and talented aunt, Kristi. Of course, those weren't actually taken until October. Still, July is when we got the ball rolling.

At the end of July, Evie and I left Ben in Little Rock and went to visit our family in Idaho. We went to the Hirschi reunion, and Evie won the "Miss America" contest with a monologue from Lilo and Stitch. Isn't she lovely? Isn't she a pearl?

We also attended Ben's family's reunion up in Island Park. It was right on the river, which made me a little nervous, but there were plenty of aunts and uncles helping to keep the little ones out of the river. And the kids loved it! They even caught a frog!

August was eventful because, first off, Big Jet got rear-ended by a drunk driver while my mom and I were in the car, on our way to get ice cream for my mom's birthday. Yes, it was her birthday. The driver hit us while we were stopped at a red light, then backed up and hit us again, in order to push us far enough into the intersection that he could drive away. Happy Birthday, Mom! Some nice girls chased him down for us and the police caught him. Thank goodness! The repairs were pretty expensive. The whole back of the car had to be replaced.

We went down to Utah to visit my siblings there (and because my mom had an eye appointment). While we were in Salt Lake, we visited Temple Square and went on a horse-drawn carriage ride. Evie was so excited about the horse. And it was just after dark, so the weather was cool and gorgeous.

At the end of August, my mom, brother, Evie, and I all went to Disneyland - another first for Evie. We got to California on a Thursday afternoon, so we decided to go to Santa Monica Pier for a while. It was beautiful!

We spent two days in the park. It was crowded and hot, but it was so fun! It's really all about atmosphere, is what we decided. On the first day, Evie got to meet Tinkerbell and Minnie Mouse. She was in heaven!

On the second day, Evie and I had a lunch with the Disney princesses planned. We dressed Evie up in her Belle costume. She looked so beautiful. It was fun, but she was less than impressed with the princesses - probably because none of them really look anything like the cartoons. The real highlight of the day for Evie was when Sully (from Monsters, Inc.) bowed to her and kissed her hand. She curtsied back (!!!so cute!!!), then ran up and gave him a hug. It was so. Freaking. Adorable. Anyway, Disneyland was a great success.September was fairly uneventful, because Mom and Joseph started school again. Evie and I got to visit with my dad, who was home for a vacation from Iraq, so that was great. Aside from that, all was pretty quiet. Ben was in survival training, and we got to see him for Labor Day weekend, but the rest of the time he was basically cut off from us. Stressful. On the up side, Evie wrote a letter to Santa Claus, her first letter that she actually wrote herself. I had to show her how to shape some of the letters, and help with the spelling, but she wrote it herself!
In October, Evie and Alyssa celebrated their birthdays together in Utah, and back in Idaho I took Evie's annual birthday pictures.

The next weekend, because Ben had finally finished survival training and was in Idaho with us (yay!) we had Evie's birthday party. Since she's an October baby, it was a costume party. Everyone dressed up - I was so impressed!

A couple of weeks later, we officially moved to Texas. We got to go to a couple of different Halloween parties, so Evie took the opportunity to wear different costumes to each one.

In November, we adopted a dog! We named him Bones McCoy. "Dammit, Jim, I'm a dauschund, not a scientist!" It took some work to get him housetrained, and he needs a bath every week or he gets really stinky, but we love him. For Thanksgiving, we made our own "Thankful Turkey," something we got from Ben's family. Isn't he cute??Thanksgiving was fun. It was just the three of us and Bones McCoy. We kept it simple, but it was really special all the same. We played games, ate good food, and the very next day we put up the Christmas decorations!

In December, Evie danced in The Nutcracker with her dance school (we enrolled her at the beginning of November). It was so cute. She looked completely comfortable on the stage - I was so proud!

After her show was done, we went back to Idaho to have Christmas with our families! We haven't had a chance to see both of our families for Christmas at the same time since... well, ever. My family is usually overseas. It was a great stroke of luck that both of our families were in the same city this year. It was a short vacation, but we loved seeing them. :) Did I mention that Evie got that dollhouse for Christmas? And that Ben made it with his own hands? Well, she did, and he did. And that's 2010 in a huge nutshell. Lots of milestones reached, lots of things going on, lots of laughter and joy. Let's hope that 2011 turns out so well!

A Good Old-Fashioned Rant

Today, I plan to cover a number of topics that have been on my mind lately. In the interest of full disclosure, I must warn you that I'm overly tired today, and increasingly moody. So this will definitely not be an unbiased rant. But unbiased rants are no fun anyway.

We'll let my disclosure statement lead us in to my first rant. The topic? Pregnancy symptoms when you're not pregnant.

I don't get them every month, but frequently, after ovulation, my body starts acting like it's in the beginning stages of pregnancy. I get sleepy, my nose starts picking up on smells that usually evade my detection, I have to pee every half hour, I cry at dumb things, etc. These are not normal things for me. And they tend to start a full week and a half before my period is due, so I know it isn't related to that. So my question is this: What the heck?!?! It's just not right. I mean, it's gotten to the point where the pregnancy symptoms don't get my hopes up anymore, but it still doesn't sit right with me that they're happening at all. It's just not fair. No one should have to deal with all the inconveniences of pregnancy unless they're actually having a baby! AmIright?

Granted, we don't know yet what my particular fertility problem is. It's possible that, on the months when these symptoms occur, I am in fact getting pregnant. But somewhere between the conception and the point where my period comes due, something isn't happening like it's supposed to and I'm losing the baby. That would mean I've lost about 15 so far. But that's far too agonizing to think about, so I'm not going to. I'm just going to rant.

Let's dwell on something a little less sad for a while. Have you read the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan? If you haven't, you should - but only if you have a LOT of free time on your hands, because the series is 12 books long so far, and it still isn't complete. Good books, but loooooooong.

There's this character in the books named Elayne, and I hate her. She's got to be the most annoying fictional character ever created, and I include Jar-Jar Binks in that category. She's a princess, and she acts like one - but not in the kind, sweet, lovable Disney way. No, she's a princess with a capital "B." Yes, that IS what I meant to type. She's ungrateful, spoiled, stubborn, and has a serious sense of entitlement. And yet, we're meant to like her! She's not a villain - she's one of the leading ladies! We're supposed to sympathize with her and feel for her. But every time she's in a section of the book, I roll my eyes and find myself thinking sarcastic thoughts.

She's beautiful, of course. She's talented. She's stronger in "the power" (you have to read the books to understand) than almost anyone alive. She's heir to the throne of her country, and she's in love with the hero of the books. In a word, she's perfect. Annoyingly so. That's bad enough.

But on top of that, Elayne is a brat.

A character named Mat saves her life multiple times. Rather than thank him, she sneers at him that she didn't need his help and would have escaped just fine on her own. Then, as he's trying to protect and help her - and even though he's intelligent and heroic (albeit cheeky and frequently sarcastic) - she treats him like a slow-witted serving boy.

Elayne spends a lot of her time rolling her eyes at the people around her and treating them like idiots, although she fails to recognize when she's being one herself. This is especially noticeable when she and Nynaeve are hiding with a traveling circus. She's quick to assume everything is Nynaeve's fault, and that she, herself, is entirely blameless. She also gives Nynaeve a lot of grief about the risque costume that Nynaeve is forced to wear, although Elayne's is far more revealing.

She puts herself in danger without thinking about the cost to the people around her, who often get hurt trying to protect her. As with Mat, she's rarely grateful for this. Rather, she believes that's how things are supposed to be. It's only right for people to die to protect their ruler.

The most annoying thing about Elayne, though, is when she forces the hero of the story, Rand, to sleep with her. She subsequently gets pregnant (of course), and spends literally ALL HER TIME complaining about how hard and uncomfortable pregnancy is. She also uses this time to blame Rand for all of it, because clearly, even though she forced herself on him, it's entirely his fault. Never mind that her gift with the power prevents morning sickness, and she barely gains any weight, and she wants more than anything to have these babies - she still complains non-stop.

"I have to drink milk instead of wine! Eeew!"

"I had to get brand-new beautiful princess dresses made! Waaah!"

"I'm barely showing, but I feel fat anyway because I'm conceited!"

"I keep having mood swings! Stupid Rand! This is all his fault!"

"I can't use my power, so it's like I'm an ordinary person!!! The horror!"

"People keep trying to protect me and my babies! They're treating me like an invalid, not letting me lead my army into battle and mud-wrestle alligators, just because I'm pregnant! It's not fair! Stupid Rand!"

Oh. My. Gosh. If she was a real person, I would punch her in the face.

Granted, none of the above are direct quotes from the books. But if you've read them, you know how accurate they are. And the problem is that the story is told from the perspective of the character you're reading about. So, when we're learning about what's going on with Elayne, we have to be in her head with her. And in her head, she is literally always thinking about her pregnancy and feeling sorry for herself.

The last book, number 11, was great. Elayne wasn't in it once. I wish they could all be like that.

Moving on!

Inflation is getting bad. Over the past few months, I've noticed prices more than doubling on some foods. Most pricing isn't changing quite that dramatically, but it's all climbing. As things stand at the moment, Ben's raises every year are barely improving our financial situation. And currently, the inflation is growing worse than it ever has been, and at an alarming rate.

I'm sure a lot of this has to do with all the money we're borrowing from China, and the trillions of dollars in spending that Congress is shoving down our throats. American money is becoming increasingly worthless. The problem is that people are still being paid the same amounts, so their salaries are essentially shrinking in value.

My particular beef, which I'm trying to get at, is with the government and their treatment of the military.

We didn't choose to have this spending bill shoved on us. We don't want that debt on our shoulders, and the shoulders of our children and grandchildren. But we haven't really been given any choice. The government made that decision for us.

That same government decides every year how much of a raise to give to the military. They do the raises every year to try and keep the salaries consistent with inflation, among other things. But this year, when inflation is worse than it ever has been before and is growing exponentially, they are giving the military the smallest raise they've had since it became an all-volunteer military in 1973.

Granted, it's gone up to 1.9% from the 1.4% Obama proposed back at the beginning of 2010. But still, that's peanuts. It's an incredibly tiny raise. Last year, we got a 3.4% raise. In 2009, it was 3.9%. 2008 was 3.5%. I could go on and on.

Do you see how insignificant this raise is? And with inflation growing, as I said, it's essentially going to be like taking a pay cut.

My question is, of all the places to cut spending, why cut the salaries of those serving in the military? I admit that I am extremely biased in this issue, because my husband is in the military, but even if that weren't the case I would find this atrocious. Why not cut the salaries of those serving in political offices? Maybe then the corruption would go down, because people would be serving because they want to make a difference, rather than just wanting power and wealth. Why not cut down the huge, life-sucking spending bill (which includes money for frisbee golf courses, among other ridiculous things)? Why not get more politicians to drive where they need to go, or fly on commercial airlines, instead of dishing out huge amounts of money to fuel their private jets?

If anyone deserves to be taken care of by their government, it's the military. Especially because it's an all-volunteer force. These men and women weren't drafted. They decided, of their own free will, to fight for their country. They did it because they believe in the freedoms we have, and are willing to die to protect them. They're willing to die to protect us.

People don't join the military to get rich. Nobody in the military makes a lot of money. Most get full tax refunds every year, because they don't make enough money for the government to take taxes out. The government tries to spin this as being a good thing ("Hey! Look! Tax refunds every year! Join the military!") but I think it's a travesty that they're paid so little. They're willing to pay the ultimate price for this country, but their country isn't willing to pay them very much for their service.

It's so sad. People in the military sacrifice so much. It's not just about whether they live or die, though. Even those that live to be 100 make huge sacrifices. There are children who learn to grow up without having Dad (or Mom) around, because he's off fighting. There are spouses who basically become single parents. There are holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays missed. Many of the men are deployed during the births of their children. They miss seeing their baby take his/her first step, or say his/her first word.

They spend their time with a bunch of other military servicemen, living out of tents, watching for attacks, eating cafeteria food, wearing the same thing every day, frequently missing out on baths and indoor plumbing, trying to kill evil men who want nothing more than to kill them first, and often seeing their comrades die right in front of them. They may come home with missing limbs, or other life-changing injuries. Many of them end up with psychological and emotional injuries, too. War is hell, and nobody knows that better than our servicemen and women. But they do it anyway. They fight, so the rest of us don't have to. They are heroes in every sense of the word.

And the government thanks them for this service by paying them next to nothing.

And too many of the people in this country thank them by throwing eggs at military funerals and shouting to the world that these brave soldiers deserved their deaths (There are not a lot of people who do this, granted, but even one is too many, and there are far more than just one).

And the press thanks them by slandering the good work they're doing, and finding reasons to portray them as bloodthirsty monsters.

The least they should get, the very least, is a decent pay raise every year so that they can provide for their families. But this year, they're not even getting that.

It makes me very sad.

After that emotional rant, I'm not sure that I have anything left in me to say.

Except maybe this...

Today is Veteran's Day, but it's not the only day that you can express your thanks to our brave men and women in the military. My hope is that everyone who reads this blog will remember that. If you see someone in uniform in the grocery store, at a restaurant, on the street, at the airport... take the time to thank them. It means so much to them to know that there are people who are grateful for their sacrifices. We can't do a lot about the press, the crazy anti-war protesters, or the government. But we can show our servicemen and women that their sacrifices aren't going unnoticed. Don't save your gratitude for Veteran's Day. Express it at every opportunity you're given.