Pre-K

So, Evie is a smart kid. She doesn't miss much. Her memory is fantastic; she can quote a movie almost word-for-word after seeing it once (if she liked it and was paying attention). She can already count to forty, and could probably go higher if I told her the words for 50, 60, etc. She knows letters and the sounds they make, and can read small words if she feels so inclined. She does basic addition and subtraction in her head.

But she missed the cutoff for kindergarten this year by two weeks.

Sad, isn't it? She's such a little smartie, and she loves learning. She should be in school with all of her friends from church! But she was born two weeks too late.

I decided, therefore, that she needed to do pre-k this year. I didn't do pre-k, and in fact, it's only recently that I even heard of it, but I knew she needed to do some kind of schooling. She's just too bored at home. So I started looking around, and pre-k seems like the thing to do.

The great part is, it's free for military dependents in Abilene.

The downside is, there are a LOT of military families in Abilene. Couple that with the kids who qualify for free lunches, and what you get is too many kids and not enough spots in pre-k.

There's a school registration fair for military families on base in August, so I'm going to try to sign her up then. My assumption is, if the school representatives are coming to the registration fair, they must have some slots open. I'm praying that we get one.

But now that I've got it all planned out, the reality is starting to sink in. From what I understand, pre-k is just like regular school. She'll be gone for most of the day, five days a week. For almost five years now she's been my shadow, my little buddy, my constant companion. Now, with Ben being gone so much between deployments and TDYs, I'm going to be alone a lot of the time.

I'm not afraid of being alone. In fact, part of me is looking forward to it. But the other part is starting to PANIC!!!

I'm going to miss her, for one thing. She's such a fun kid, and I love having her around all the time, so that will be hard. But this is also a sign that she's growing up. Once they start school, they don't stop until after they've moved out of the house! Never again will I have my tiny shadow with me all day, every day. There will be summers, yes, but that's just a few weeks out of every year. Then she'll be gone all day again.

The biggest source of my anxiety, though, is that I will no longer be her lone source of answers and teaching moments. She'll be surrounded by different kinds of people, many with different kinds of values, who will have all different kinds of influences on her. Of course, I'll still be an influence at home. But how long will it be before she thinks I'm

lame, and starts turning to other people for guidance instead of me?

All I can do is pray that she makes good friends, friends who will help her make good choices. That's the scariest thing. She will no longer be under my lone influence, in my controlled environment all the time. She's taking her first steps out into the real world. And I'm afraid of what might happen.

But she's a smart kid. She's already got a testimony, and isn't afraid to share her values with other people. She may even be an good influence on other kids. I know she'll be a good example.

It's a little bit terrifying to let my baby step out into the world,

and grow up. But I've got God on my side, and I know that He wants what's best for her, just like I do. Between Him, me, and my wonderful husband, she's got a good team of people watching out for her. I've just got to trust in Him, and keep doing my best to raise her right when she's at home.

It's a scary thing, but it's a wonderful thing, too.