Aaaaaand.... THERE'S the Happy Ending!

As some of you may know, today I was having a rotten day due to a particularly sadistic dream my brain whipped up. Long story short, I woke up wondering if I actually make any kind of difference or impact as a human being, or whether I'm ultimately useless and replaceable. My brain was coming down on the side of "useless and replaceable."

Like I said, rotten day.

Satan was in my head, and he wasn't budging. I was in despair, thinking I was a failure as a human being. I couldn't think of a single meaningful contribution I have made to the world, aside from my perfect angel of a daughter. And she, quite frankly, is all of those things without my help.

All day long, I couldn't shake the funk. I couldn't find a way to argue with the conclusion my brain was pushing. I was in despair.

Then, I went to the broadcast of the general women's meeting for my church: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

They hold these broadcasts twice a year. This year, rather than just inviting women ages 12 and up, they invited all ladies ages 8 and up.

Such a tiny change, but such a huge impact.

Seeing all those little girls in the audience, barely older than my own daughter, touched my heart. Then they started singing. And my hard, bitter, broken heart melted.

And then, over the course of the broadcast, it healed.

The theme of the entire meeting was basically this: I am a daughter of God. He knows me. He loves me. I mean something to Him.

It was like being hit over the head with a spiritual brick. I sensed that God had been trying to give me this reassurance all day, but I had been so lost in my own despair that I couldn't hear Him.

I cried through almost the entire broadcast. The Spirit was so powerful, testifying to me that not only does God know and love me, but He has a plan for me. My life has a purpose. A purpose that is meant for me, and me alone, to fulfill.

I may not have any unique abilities. But I do have talents and abilities that I use to praise God and spread His message of love.

I may not have a fancy job, or do anything the world sees as important. But I try to help those around me, and ease their burdens where I can. Little actions can make a big difference.

I may not write any great novels, or invent any handy appliances, or discover any cures to terrible diseases. But I can, and will, raise a child who will be a force for good in this world. A child who has the potential in her to change the world for the better. A child who can uplift and serve others, and be a shining beacon of God's love.

I may merely be a stay-at-home mom with one kid, no college degree, no job, and no particularly useful skills.

But I am me. I am unique. I am the only one who is all of the crazy things that I am. My life has meaning, and purpose, and direction. And I am precious to my Father in Heaven. He doesn't see me as expendable. He doesn't think I'm useless. He never, for even a moment, forgets who I am. I am known to Him. I am cherished by Him. I am important to Him.

I knew before I ever came to this life that I would have trials. I would go through terrible times. I would know pain, despair, agony. But you know what? I agreed to all of that.

I agreed to go through heartbreaking loss, so that I might know the incredible beauty of love.

I agreed to suffer agonizing trials, so I could learn to appreciate the bliss that comes with peace.

I agreed to deal with unbearable pain, so I would understand indescribable joy.

Everything in this life has its opposite. As Eve understood, we need to pass through sorrow so that we can learn what joy is. You can never fully appreciate what it means to have good health until you've been sick. Opposites are a necessary part of life - one that we all agreed to before we came to Earth.

For me, today was a day of both wretched despair and unbelievable joy. It hurt like crazy to go through the first part of my day, when I was wracked with anguish over the idea that I might have no worth. But from those painful depths I rose and soared to great heights through the love of my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I know who I am. I am a beautiful, beloved daughter of my Heavenly Father. I am strong. I am intelligent. I am worthwhile. I have the power to change the world, and make it a better place.

And I am loved. Loved by a beautiful husband and daughter. Loved by brilliant, amazing parents and siblings. Loved by incredible, generous friends. And loved by God, the most powerful being in the universe; my very Creator.

And not one person on that list thinks I'm useless or replaceable.