Making the Case for Adoption

Ben and I are seriously considering starting the adoption process. We don't have a ton of money, but I think it's worth it to use what we have to adopt a baby. If we save all the extra money we have, and we're careful with our budget, I see no reason why we can't adopt, live comfortably within our means, and still work toward paying off our remaining debt at the same time. Going through LDS Family Services, we should definitely be able to afford it. We haven't decided 100% that we're definitely going to go for it, but I'm pretty sure that we are.

What I want to talk about today is the adoption option. Did you like how that rhymed? ;)

More specifically, I want to talk to all the unmarried girls dealing with unplanned pregnancies.

Adoption vs. Abortion

Statistics show that adoptions are down, and infertility is up. Despite the fact that there are more and more couples who desperately want to adopt kids, more and more mothers are choosing not to give their babies up for adoption. Instead, many of them are taking the "easy" way out, and getting abortions instead.

Now, I'm not a supporter of abortion, except in the case of rape, incest, or severe risk to the mother's health. I think getting an abortion is selfish. But I can understand why so many women choose to do that, rather than give their baby up for adoption.

When you choose adoption, that means you have to carry the baby to full term first. That's nine long months of nausea, swollen ankles, mood swings, cravings, and weight gain. That's nine months where people look at you funny, and judge you. That's nine months of having to deal with the real-life consequences of one careless night. That sucks. I get it.

Having an abortion is so much easier. You go in, you get it taken care of, and you move on with your life. No one even has to know that you were ever pregnant. It's so easy!

But the easiest way is not always the best way. It may be better for your own personal comfort. It may be better for your body (although that's not necessarily the case). It may be better for your social life. But those are all selfish priorities. Those are all reasons that are about you. There's no consideration for the baby at all. Generally speaking, being born is a lot better for a baby than being killed is.

I'm not saying that abortion is equal to murder. I'm not that extreme in my views. I have no idea when a fetus becomes an actual person, with a life and a spirit. I can't judge that.

But why, when there are so many loving couples who would be thrilled to take care of that baby, would you decide to scrape it out and throw it in the trash instead? I get it, it's easier. But you can't deny that it's selfish.

I think your conscience will rest much easier if you give that baby to someone who can love and nurture it. You have the ability to give a couple the greatest joy of their lives, if you choose to give your baby up for adoption. Choosing adoption is a completely unselfish choice. It's harder, physically and maybe even emotionally. You will feel that child grow under your heart for nine months. You'll feel the kicks, and the hiccups. You'll see the ultrasounds, and hear the heartbeat. You'll do all of that, knowing that the child won't be yours to keep. You'll be giving it away. That can be heartbreaking, even when you know it's the right thing to do. It's hard. But it's unselfish. It's about love.

By giving that child away, you're showing that you love your baby enough to want it to have a good home, with good parents who can give your baby everything. You're showing love for those poor, desperate parents, who want nothing more in the whole world than a child of their own. You're showing a love and respect for life itself, in choosing to let nature take its course, rather than getting an abortion.

I promise you, that you'll feel peace and joy in your decision. You'll feel much lighter, much happier, and much less guilty if you give birth and let someone adopt your baby. I can't imagine that anyone feels light, peace, and joy after an abortion. For your own peace of mind, if nothing else, adoption is a better option.

It's not easy. But it's worth it.

Granted, I want to adopt a baby, so I'm obviously biased in my opinion. But none of what I've said here is new. I've always felt this way, long before we decided to try and adopt. It seems logical. And it feels true. Please don't disregard what I've said, just because I want to adopt a baby myself. Think about it. What does your heart tell you?

There are so many couples like Ben and me out there, couples who want to adopt children. Couples who can provide for your child, protect your child, and love your child. We're good people. We're good families. I already have one daughter, and I can say with no doubt in my mind that she will be a phenominal big sister. She wants a little brother or sister so badly, she asks for one almost every day. Any child we adopt will be adored. We will love that child every bit as much as we love our own natural child. And we will thank God every day for the unselfish mother who put that child in our arms.

If you know someone who is thinking about giving their baby up for adoption, please refer them to us. We're pursuing all possible options. It's so important to us to have another child. Our family is not yet complete. If you, or someone you know, can bless our family with a baby, I hope that you'll think about it. And even if our family is not the right one for your child, adoption is still the better option. There are thousands of couples who can't have children, and desperately want them. You'll find a family that's perfect for your child. And they will praise you, and your decision to give up your baby for adoption, forever.

Choose adoption. It's about love.