Wife Swap: Home Edition!

I was watching an episode of Wife Swap today, and it occurred to me that the concept is something that could be done in the home. You don't have to trade places with a random stranger across the country to be able to learn how to make your home a better place. The point of the show is about learning how to walk in another person's shoes, and see the world from a different point of view. And then, of course, you learn and grow and make changes to improve your life.

Evie's too little for me to do this any time soon, but when she's a teenager, I'd really like to try a similar experiment. The best time to do it would be over summer vacation, so that we really can trade places. But rather than two moms trading places, the mom can "trade places" with her kids. Children often don't realize how many sacrifices their parents make for them, and this kind of thing could help them see that. On the flip side, parents are often oblivious to just how hard it is, being a kid (especially a teenager). They also may not realize if they are doing things that disappoint their kids. Thus, the experiment.

How it would work is very similar to what happens on Wife Swap. The first week, the mom has to follow a list of rules that the kids come up with. Granted, there needs to be some adult supervision here so you don't end up with any dangerous rules (like "Kids are free to get tattoos!" or "Kids are allowed to go to bars and stay out all night!"), but kids are smart and will generally come up with those things which are most important to them. This will likely include things like: Mom does all the kids' chores, Mom spends _ number of nights a week spending quality time with the kids, Mom has dinner ready by _ time every night, Mom has to do _ number of "homework assignments" a day, maybe Mom even has to go to work in place of her child at Pizza Hut or wherever (if they can work it out with the manager), etc. There may be some silly ones in here, too, but pretty much anything that is important to the kids (and not risky in any way) is fair game. Hm, maybe we'd better limit the number of possible rules to 10 or something...

Mom faithfully follows the rules for a full week. Thanks to this experience, she can see things from her children's perspective, as well as learn what things she could be doing better for them. It's a gift, being able to find out what your kids really think and feel about you and the way you do things. It won't be easy, but as long as Mom plays fair, the kids will have no choice but to obey HER rules over the following week, when the rules change!

For the second week, Mom sets the rules. Maybe the kids do all the housework, cook all the meals, do the grocery shopping (while sticking to a specific budget), get the oil changed in the car, pay the bills, etc. Maybe it's something else that Mom wants the kids to learn. In any case, they have to walk a mile in Mom's shoes now. It won't be fun, and it won't be easy, but hopefully when it's over they'll have a greater respect for their mother and the sacrifices and hard work she puts into every day. And vice versa.

I really think it's a great idea. I wish I could have done something like this with my parents when I was growing up. It wasn't until recently, when I became a mother, that I began to really understand everything my mom sacrificed to raise me. If we could have done this kind of experiment, maybe I would have been a little more understanding. It really does do a world of good to be able to put yourself in another person's shoes. And it teaches you empathy.

I hope I can do this with my kids in 15 years or so (Egad! I'll be almost 42!!!). Maybe then the mysteries that I, like all parents, will face in dealing with my teenagers will be a little less intimidating. And if I'm very lucky, maybe my kids will respect me for what I do.

If nothing else, I think it sounds like a lot of fun!