It Makes You Think

Ben showed me a news report today. A Marine was forced to eject from his F18 when the engines malfunctioned. The abandoned jet crashed into a residential area, hitting a house where a Korean immigrant and his family lived.

The man of the house wasn't there at the time. When he got home, he found that his entire family (mother-in-law, wife, and two baby girls) had been killed. His entire family.

I think most of us would scream, cry, and curse the Marine who unwittingly caused the tragedy.

But this man forgave the pilot.

The pilot's first words after he safely landed were, "I hope I didn't kill anybody."

Both engines in his fighter had failed. He'd had no choice but to eject. It's what any sane person, under the stress of making a split-second life and death decision, would have done.

Dong Yun Yoon, the lone survivor, said of the pilot, "I pray for him not to suffer for this action. I know he's one of our treasures for our country."

He recognized that the entire tragedy was a horrible accident, and didn't blame the pilot. He forgave him. His entire family was snatched away in an instant, and he forgave the pilot.

I'd like to think that maybe I could do the same if something like that happened to me, but I'm just not sure. I know it's the right thing to do in that sort of situation, but I don't know if I could be reasonable through that kind of suffering - especially this time of year, when everyone is focused on love and family. It sort of magnifies the tragedy of it all.

As far as the pilot goes, I have no doubt that he's beating himself up about it. I honestly feel as badly for him as I do for Yoon. I'm sure he's thinking "If only." If only he had sacrificed himself, and stayed in the plane to try and steer it to a safer crash area. If only he had done something different in his flight pattern itself, so he wasn't so close to a residential area. If only he'd had his engines double-checked (or triple-checked) before takeoff.

He was clearly worried that the plane might have hurt someone, if you look at his first words he said after ejecting. "I hope I didn't kill anybody." Upon hearing what happened, I have no doubt that he was filled with overwhelming guilt and remorse.

Ben is going to be a pilot. It's possible that he might have to make a similar choice himself one day. I can't imagine how hard that would be. If he sacrificed himself, he would be leaving the people he loves (Evie and I) alone. If he chose to eject and pray for the best, he risks the possible accidental death of an innocent third party, something that would consume him with remorse, probably for the rest of his life. Neither choice is a good one.

This has been a tragedy for everyone involved. But it's also been a shining example of humanity at its best. Yoon could easily have screamed, cried, and sworn vengence. The pilot could have gotten defensive, convincing himself that he shouldn't feel bad because it was an accident. The remorse, the forgiveness, the humanity of it all teaches us a lesson. It helps us to remember that the faceless people around us have feelings, just like we do. They have trials. They have blessings. They have weaknesses. They have talents. They have insecurities. They have families.

We're all the same. We're all different, yes, but on a basic level, we all want the same thing. We want to be happy. We want to be loved. And above all, when something bad happens, we want to be forgiven/be able to forgive, and to find peace. We can't find peace without forgiveness.

I pray that Yoon and the pilot will both be able to find peace, and that they'll someday also be able to find happiness again. I pray for Yoon's mother-in-law, wife, and two baby girls. I pray that he'll be able to feel their love in his life, and know that they're always with him. I pray that he'll be blessed with the knowledge that he will see them again someday.

Most of all, I pray that I can learn from this tragic accident. I want to live my life in such a way that if something does happen to my loved ones, I'll have no doubt that they knew that I loved them with every fiber of my being. I want to live my life with a spirit of forgiveness to those that may somehow wrong me. I want to endure all of the trials I have in my life, and be strengthened by them, so that when something hugely tragic does happen I'll have the faith and strength to survive it.

You can read about it here:
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/california/la-me-jetcrash10-2008dec10,0,2049016.story