We. Are. Faaaaaamily!

There are way too many people today who are rude, hypersensitive, obnoxious, lazy, narcissistic, entitled, and completely self-absorbed. I don't know who raised these people, but I feel like some parents definitely were dropping the ball. And, of course, these people are going to raise kids who are basically just like them, and the cycle will continue.

The world needs stronger families. If every family was loving, and kind, and tried to do what was right, the world would be a better place. By leaps and bounds.

Basically, what I'm getting at is this: If every family were just like mine, the world would be awesome.

Because my family is awesome.

I don't mean Ben and Evie, although I'm hopeful that Ben and I will be able to raise awesome kids, too. And yes, Ben and Evie are already all kinds of awesome. But I'm referring to the family in which I was raised.

I'll get into more details about my ridiculously super-amazing fantabulous parents tomorrow. Today, I want to tell you about my siblings.

They're awesome.

I suppose I could leave it at that, but I won't.

I'm the oldest child in my family. But I have three younger brothers and a younger sister. I'm freakishly close with them, especially the three just under me in age. The youngest took his sweet time and didn't make his entrance into the world until I was graduating from high school, so I didn't get to know him as well as the others. But we're making progress.

I'll go oldest to youngest, I suppose.

First up, at about two and a half years younger than me, is Andrew.

Andrew started life as a quiet, fairly nerdy kid. He was pretty scrawny, had crazy teeth, and sounded perpetually congested (thanks to, I'm guessing, a severely deviated septum). He was so cute, though. He had big blue eyes, and dimples that could stop a grown woman in her tracks and make her want to pinch his little cheeks.

He got picked on sometimes, but I remember a time when I full-on yelled at a kid who was being mean to him on the bus. I'm not usually very confrontational, especially with strangers, but there was no way anyone was allowed to pick on my little brother but me!!!

That's really one of the only times in my life I remember actually screaming insults at someone I didn't know. Somehow, it's easier to let stuff roll off your back when it's aimed at you. When it's aimed at someone you love, the tiger comes out. And, as the oldest kid, I definitely had a tiger inside of me.

As Andrew grew up, and we spent more time playing together (the floor is lava and all that kind of thing), I realized that he's hilarious. To this day, he leaves me laughing so hard that I end up having to run to the bathroom or risk wetting myself.

I think the first time I realized how funny he is was when we had just moved to London. I was about 12, so he was around 9 years old. I have no idea what we were talking about, all I know is that he said something that had me spitting water across the table from the unexpected laughter. And it didn't stop there. After that initial spit-take, things escalated quickly. And it hasn't really stopped in the 20 years since then.

Aside from being funny, though, he's also very intelligent and talented. He's a great cartoonist, and has been the artist behind some of my favorite gifts I've ever received. He speaks fluent Russian, and has an understanding of logic and math that goes way beyond anything I'm capable of. He can sing and act, too, and as he has often said, his hips don't lie.

My favorite Christmas present, ever!

Did I mention that he's handsome? He really is. Gone is the scrawny kid with the crazy teeth. Andrew is the tallest in the family, his teeth are nice and straight, and he still has the big blue eyes and killer dimples.

Welcome to the gun show, ladies

The thing about Andrew, though, is that he has no idea how handsome he is. He's so humble and self-deprecating most of the time, that I'd bet he doesn't even realize when girls think he's cute. Unless they're really over-the-top obvious about it, and most of the girls like that be crazy.

I know Andrew will say that I'm just biased, but I'm also very smart. And I have eyeballs. And I know him better than most people, so I know that he's awesome and doesn't give himself enough credit. He's amazing, and hopefully someday he'll realize that and become unstoppable!!!


Did I mention that he's coming here for Christmas? He found out that Evie and I were going to be alone for Christmas, since Ben is deployed. So he decided not to go to the beautiful, warm, foreign country where my parents live, and instead, is coming here to be with us. He's very sweet and thoughtful. And he's personally my hero, as I was dreading our lonely Christmas. He saved Christmas!!!

He's seriously one of the best guys in the universe. :)

I feel like there's so much more I could say, but I don't know how to put his epicness into words. So I guess I'll just leave it at that. He's awesome. I'm lucky to be his (little) big sister.

See? Epic.

After bumper-boating

Next in line is my only sister, Alyssa. She's only about a year and a half younger than Andrew, and looks enough like him that, when they were little, people sometimes thought they were twins.

She doesn't have the dimples, and her teeth were always much straighter, but the two of them definitely looked a lot alike as kids.

Alyssa is the sweet one in the family. The rest of us are more loud and obnoxious. It drove her crazy when we were little. We were all constantly teasing each other, and while it didn't bother me or the boys, Alyssa didn't like it. That, of course, made us tease her even more.

Poor Lu. But when she got older, she started giving as good as she got. I remember the first time I threw a quip out at her, not even really thinking about it, and she threw one right back at me. I was so proud! I don't remember what we said, but I remember grinning at her and thinking, "Good for you!" Especially because whatever it was she'd said in response was hilarious. Which is usually the point of the teasing.

Now, funny enough, she probably fits in with the boys even better than I ever did. She loves football, and considers herself a bit of a tomboy. Although she's also tall and thin and beautiful, which just means that her "tomboy-ness" makes here even more attractive. Just ask her husband, Lewis. Pretty sure he worships the ground she walks on.

Lyssa is still one of the sweetest people in the world, though. She's always had this amazing gift for empathy. I've gotten fairly good at empathy over time, but it's something I had to learn. Lu was born with it. She was one of those kids who could walk up to someone on the playground and instantly make friends with them.

Evie is a lot like her in that regard, actually. It's funny. Evie may look like me, but she's a lot like Lyssa, too. They're both naturally very sweet and empathetic. Evie is more sensitive than I was as a kid, too - more like Lyssa. They both make friends easily. They're both always willing to help someone in need. They both love the color orange. They even have the same birthday! Evie was born on Lu's 20th birthday, so they're exactly 20 years apart. Because of that, now I'll always remember exactly how old my sister is. ;)

I'm waiting for Lyssa to have a daughter who's goofy and musical and a bit overdramatic, like me. It's only fair.

My sister, just like the rest of my amazing family, is also very smart. She's got her degree in Elementary Education. Now she's got two beautiful kids, so she's not teaching full-time, but she does tutor kids. And I'm guessing she wants to return to teaching once her kids are in school.

Teaching is a perfect fit for her. She's pretty much everything I would want in my kid's teacher.

Lyssa is also like my brother - brothers, actually - in the regard that she doesn't realize how awesome she is. I suppose the fact that my family members are all so humble is a good thing. None of them really know that they're amazing. Not to the extent that I see. But they really are.

Lu has two adorable munchkins, and while I don't get to see them that often, I try to win them over a little bit every time I'm around. Eventually I will win their hearts! Seriously, though, they're too stinkin' cute. I would give all the credit to Lyssa, but I suppose that her cute husband, Lewis, helped a little. ;) Lewis is a good guy. And clearly, very smart, because he realized what a catch my sister is.

She's my favorite sister. ;)

Daniel is the most like me out of all my siblings. I'm not sure why, other than the fact that we look alike, but I've always felt the deepest connection with him. I figure that must mean we're similar somehow.

On the outside, he's clearly got the edge. He's always been the most athletic, the most popular, the most handsome. Where the rest of us got teased in school, Daniel was admired. I think that it may be because he knew how to handle it better than the rest of us.

Daniel doesn't let any embarrassment show. Even when he is feeling embarrassed, he plays it off. He laughs, or counters with goofiness. I think that might be part of why he's my mom's favorite. ;) Just kidding, my mom would never admit who her favorite is. But I do know that she loved how, in high school, he would see her in the halls and yell, "Mommy!" and give her a big hug. The rest of us would have been too embarrassed to do something like that, but Daniel just owned it. I think that's why so many of his peers admired him. If a person doesn't get embarrassed, you have no power over them - at least in high school. It makes you immune. It's like a superpower.

Granted, I was already out of the house by the time Daniel was in high school, so a lot of this is just what I've learned through what people have told me, but it certainly sounds like the Daniel I know and love.

The funny thing about Daniel is, while he's handsome, smart, funny, and all kinds of amazing, he doesn't get it. He laughs and jokes about how awesome he is, but I know him well enough to know that he's got all kinds of insecurities of his own.

It breaks my heart a little. He can get so down on himself. He's definitely his own worst critic. He tends to internalize whatever problems he's having, and hold on to guilt when things go wrong. He gets into his own head, and into his own way. His self-esteem is nowhere near as high as it should be.

And it should be high. I'm not saying he should be genuinely cocky, but he should feel great about himself and who he is. Because he's freaking amazing.

This is a guy who babysat Evie for a whole week when she was a toddler, just so Ben and I could go on a trip for our anniversary.

From one of said road trips

This is a guy who, more than once, has flown out to wherever I'm living just so he can turn around and help me drive right back to where he came from, so I can visit the family.

This is a guy who is always willing to jump in and babysit for me or my sister, and who won't accept any payment for it.

This is a man who is fiercely loyal to the people he loves. He stands up for what's right. He fights for people who can't defend themselves.

This is a man who would jump on a bomb or dive in front of a moving car to save someone's life. (Granted, I think any of my siblings would do that. But still. I know Daniel definitely would.)

This is a man who has a huge heart, and an amazing capacity to do good. He's selfless, and loyal, and always willing to serve. He's definitely one of God's chosen warriors. And I can only assume that that's why Satan tries so hard to keep him down. Because if Daniel really understood who he is and what he's capable of, he would be unstoppable. He's a white knight, a warrior of righteousness. He just doesn't realize it.

I wish Daniel could see himself the way the rest of us see him. The way I see him. The way God sees him.

He's incredible.

My brothers are both weird and wonderful.

I love him so much.

Joseph is the youngest, by a lot. He's about ten years younger than Daniel, so he's basically been an only child for the past several years.

I don't know Joseph as well as I know the others, since I wasn't there when he was growing up. But from what I've seen, he's every bit as special as the others.

Joseph is Evie's favorite uncle - although she's crazy about all three of them. Mostly because he's still young enough that he'll play with her, and play the kinds of games she likes. He taught her how to play Legend of Zelda on the DS, and all about Pokemon. He even showed her the Pokemon that (more or less) shares her name. Evie loved that.

This last summer, Joseph was finally old enough to start babysitting Evie. It was such a nice break for me! And he was always such a good sport about it. And, of course, Evie loved it. He's so much more fun than boring ol' Mom and Dad.

Joseph takes after Lyssa a lot, too. He's got more of her sweet temperament, and looks more like her and Andrew than like me or Daniel. He even sneezes in the sun like Lyssa does.

He's still learning how to be quick with the comebacks, but he's a really good sport about all the teasing his big brothers load on him. They like to invent games like "Kick Him When He's Down," where they kick Joseph every time he's on the ground. They're just teasing him, of course, and he's really good about playing along and taking it all in stride. Sometimes they forget that they're so much bigger than him and take it a bit too far, but Joseph is quick to forgive. I'm pretty sure he knows that they do it out of love. And because he's still littler than them. They need to get their fun in now before he gets to be bigger than they are.

This just says so much about my family...

Joseph is already growing like a weed. According to my mom, he finally passed her in height, which means he's officially taller than me now, too. I'm an inch shorter than my mom, so that makes me officially the shortest in the family, now that Joseph has passed me up. My brothers better watch out. Joseph is growing. And eventually he might even put on enough muscle to be able to fight back.

Of course, I assume that's when they'll put all of their focus on Evie, and Lu's kids, Jack and Poppy.

And so it begins...

Joseph is a great artist. He's very creative, and likes to invent his own Pokemon. He's pretty good at it, too. In that regard he's a lot like Andrew. I don't know that Andrew ever got into Pokemon much, but they're both definitely very artistic.

Since Joseph is still young, he's still trying to find his place in the world. He's at that awkward phase where you're not a kid, but not yet an adult. It's not an easy time of life. But he's doing his best. He's never petty or mean the way some kids are at that age. He's always very sweet and considerate. When they move back to the States next year and he starts high school, I think his personality coupled with his experiences living all over the world will give him a great edge. He'll be able to take on anything that life - and high school - throw at him.

Joseph is already growing up to be an amazing young man. If he can keep moving forward on the path he's on, he'll be such an incredible force for good in the world. He'll be able to make such a difference. Already he's made a difference in my life. He's one of the best kids in the world. I'm excited to keep getting to know him more and more, not just as a brother, but as a friend.

So there you have it. Those are the unbelievably wonderful people that I call my siblings. I'm pretty sure mom and dad were blessed with quantity and quality when it came to their kids.

I've lived all over the world, and I've known very few people who are as strong, and good, and selfless, and wonderful as my siblings. I'm so blessed to be part of their family; to be their big sister. I don't know that any of them really look up to me, but I look up to every single one of them. They've all taught me how to be a better person.

I love you guys, and I'm grateful for each and every one of you. :)

"The Time Has Come," the Walrus Said, "To Talk of Juleigh Things..."

I have a list of about seven things that I'm especially grateful for, and I save those seven things for the end, every year. I write about them in order such that the most important is saved for last, and they go in that order.

Everything before the last week is random, just whatever I'm feeling that day. But the topics during the week before Thanksgiving are the ones closest to my heart.

After today, I'll be talking about my siblings, my parents, my daughter, my husband, and my Savior.

So the person I'm talking about today is the person I love most in the entire world, outside of my closest family and my God.

And, to be honest, she has become as close to me as if she were my own, literal sister. But I had to put them in some kind of order for this last week, so blood got the edge. Although, on the other hand, the post about my siblings is talking about all four of them together, and this one gets her very own post.

Hopefully, this helps her realize how very important she is to me.

I'm talking, of course, about Juleigh.

Her name has come up a few times throughout this month, and that's because she does so many things that bless my life and make me feel grateful. But today the topic of my blog is purely her. I'm grateful for the awesome things she does, yes, but I'm especially grateful just to have her in my life.

As discussed yesterday, I've had many friends over the years. Not usually all at once, but because I moved so often, I collected quite a few in the long run. I've even had friends that I've felt especially close to. "Best friends," as it were.

Well, no offense to them, because they're wonderful and I love them, but Juleigh blows them all away.

And I think the main difference is this: Never before have I had a friend that I felt loved me as much as I loved them.

All the other best friends I had while I was growing up were relatively permanent fixtures in their communities, for one thing. They had other friends, many of whom they had known longer and were closer with than they were with me. That's one of the things about being a nomad, like me: Friendships are fleeting, and often shallower because of it. The people you leave behind usually have other friends, so they don't really miss you so much when you're gone.

For me, though, those friendships were the strongest in my life. And it always killed me a little when they fizzled out. But, for my part, I kind of let it happen. I knew, even then, that I was the one who was more invested, and that I wouldn't be too terribly missed when I was gone. So I detached and moved on.

Juleigh is different, though. I love her like a sister, and I know that she loves me just as much. It's totally new for me, at least when it comes to friendships. It's the same kind of thing I have with my siblings, or my husband - reciprocation. But it's the first time I've had reciprocation like this in a friend.

I think it helps that she and her husband moved here only a couple of weeks before us. Neither of us knew anyone else. We were both feeling nervous and (to be honest) kind of depressed to find ourselves in Abilene, TX. We were lonely, and we both needed a friend.

That being said, it still took us a few months before our friendship really took off. I think we're both kind of shy at first, afraid to put ourselves out there. I know I am, anyway. It's always harder when you're the new kid, too. It's easier to extend the hand of friendship when you're already settled and comfortable with the people around you. But putting yourself forward when you don't know anyone is scary. So it took us a while to get comfortable enough around one another to start letting our weird sides out.

When it came out, though, it came out in a huge way. We would have long conversations on Facebook, in the comments sections of various status updates - much to the chagrin of anyone else who may have commented on the post. We kind of blew up the internet. My mom actually stopped commenting on stuff and just started giving my posts a supportive "like," so she could avoid all the notifications Juleigh and I were causing because of our comments.

Eventually, we started using texting and messaging to have our conversations. And Facebook breathed a sigh of relief.

But not until after we had talked about all kinds of bizarre, humorous things, like whether or not elephants have boogers. And if they do, what happens if they get a head cold? Do elephants ever actually get head colds?

Obviously, we had each found a friend who was just as strange and awesome as ourselves. We bonded quickly after that.

Our husbands got along too, although not to the same extent. But they're good enough friends that they don't seem to mind all the hanging out Juleigh and I like to do. And the kids have fun playing together. So it all worked out great!

Juleigh makes me act like a 12-year-old. Usually a 12-year-old boy. But I do the same to her, so it's only fair. We found ourselves trying to fake burp in the car the other day. We were grown women, in our 30s, acting like goofy kids.

It's awesome.

We've done all sorts of crazy stuff together, too - usually dragging our families into participation.

We had a pie-eating contest.

We dressed up like Mario characters and went go-karting.

We had a superhero themed birthday party for Evie, just so we could dress up.

We played a lot of truth-or-dare Jenga.

We dressed up and took pictures as gifts for our husbands for Valentine's Day.

We went to the Trunk-or-Treat at our church as characters from the Big Bang Theory.

We decided to start a band called "Finxter Muffles."

We've gone on a road trip or two.

We started doing our Christmas Eve traditions together every year, including a nativity.

We had a Nerf war on Christmas Day.

We made finger mustaches (on multiple occasions).

We take our family pictures together (meaning at the same time, although occasionally we might slip into one another's pictures).

We even discovered that there's a curse on us. Every time we double-date to Outback Steakhouse, someone in our group ends up getting violently ill. It's not anything Outback did, it's just been sheer dumb luck. Or, as I mentioned before, a curse.

Life is so much better with Juleigh in it. :)

That's not to say that we are purely goofy, of course. There have been lots of times when I've been able to talk to Juleigh about serious things, too. And we've both had multiple opportunities to help each other over the past few years.

Juleigh helped me deal with my ants, just this past week.

I drove with her to the auto parts store and watched her car when she was afraid to turn it off because it might stop working.

She brought me food and stayed with Evie for a while so I could go home and shower and change when Evie was in the hospital with pneumonia.

I watched her kids overnight when Juleigh had a seizure and had to go to the emergency room.

She helped me raise some money to put toward an adoption or medical procedure to help solve our infertility problem.

I went with her to her grandmother's funeral so she wouldn't have to make the long drive alone.

We held a garage sale to raise money for a family who had lost their home to a fire.

We've gone to the temple together.

We took around little gifts to people from our church who seemed to need a little extra love.

We encourage each other to be healthy by going to the gym together.

It's not all about the fluff and fun, although that is certainly a huge part of our relationship. But it's so much deeper than that. We've already decided that we want our mansions in heaven to be next door to each other, so we can continue our friendship through eternity.

Juleigh is my best friend forever, in a very real, literal way. There's a reason why she is second only to my family and my Savior on my list of things I'm thankful for. My life has been indescribably better since she became a part of it.

Now that we are probably moving next summer, I've been very worried that this will be another friendship that fizzles out. It would truly break my heart if it did.

But as I said before, this friendship is different from any I've had before. Juleigh loves me just as much as I love her. So I can't imagine that either of us will let this friendship die out.

Keeping Juleigh in my life has become a priority for me. I want to plan my family's vacations to Utah in the summers so they coincide with when she'll be there. When we retire, I want to settle near where she and Bryce settle (we've talked about Idaho Falls and Logan, UT, respectively), so we can see them on a regular basis. I want to go on vacations together, with us and our husbands. And maybe the kids.

Sometimes.

Maybe. ;)

And I refuse to let the little communications end - the texts, the Facebook posts, the messaging, the phone calls. I want to talk to her about my life, and see what's going on in hers. I don't want that to stop.

We probably won't be able to be as close as we have been, since we'll be living hundreds of miles apart. But that's only temporary. Because eventually, we'll be next-door neighbors in heaven. And then we can pick up right where we left off.

A friendship like this isn't one that you allow to fade away. It's a friendship that can, and should, last forever.

I'm going to miss her like crazy when we move. But, in the same way that I try to talk to and visit with my parents and siblings on a regular basis, I'm going to try to see Juleigh. She's more than my friend now. She's my sister. She's part of who I am. And I'm refusing to let her go.

I love you, Juleigh. Thank you for being my very best friend.