Thanksgiving Countdown, Day 6: Owl Be Seeing You

I was thinking today about my awesome family, and how excited I am to be spending Christmas with them this year.

Unfortunately, we won't all be together. Andrew won't let us buy him a plane ticket home from Japan (SAD FACE), and I think Daniel and Angie are going to be spending Christmas with her parents in Boston. It's only fair, I know, but... :( I'm going to miss all three of them!

Sigh.

But it will still be awesome. There will be four children, when you add my sister's kiddos to my own daughter. They're delightful. And Christmas is always more magical when there are little ones there.

Plus, I love spending time with my siblings and parents. The vast majority of my Christmases have been spent in their company, so Christmas = family in my mind.

Also, my parents live in Idaho, so we might actually have a white Christmas! I literally cannot remember the last time that happened.

And, of course, my own little family will all be there, too. A couple of years ago, we had Christmas by ourselves, without Ben, because he was deployed. It was not great, although my brother came to spend the holiday with us. That made it much better. But Christmas is definitely not really Christmas without Ben and Evie there.

I love my family, can you tell? My husband, daughter, parents, siblings, nieces and nephew, aunts and uncles and grandparents and in-laws... FAMILY. It's awesome.

So, today I'm grateful for family.

My own little family brings me so much joy, even just through the little silly moments we have. Like I mentioned a few days ago how Ben was a good sport when I bought him those Storm Trooper footie pajamas? I also got some for Evie with penguins on them. I was 70% sure that she would hate them, but I was wrong. She got super excited, and immediately put them on. She looked just like she did when she was two and wore footie pajamas on a regular basis. My heart melted into a gooey little puddle.

She and Ben wore their footies proudly around the house for the rest of the day, and slept in them that night. Both of them insisted, however, that I find some for myself. Because it wasn't fair that they had such awesome pjs and I didn't.

We were all supposed to be in this together, apparently. But I really didn't mind. I love that Evie still wants us to be matchy, even though she's nine now. I hope she never grows out of wanting to do stuff with her mom and dad.

So, while I was running errands today, I found footie pajamas at Target. This is really the best time of year to find weird pajamas. Apparently we're not the only family with the Christmas tradition of opening a new pair of pjs every year.

I knew I couldn't get the boring, plain pink ones. I'm a Madsen! And a Fifield by marriage! We don't wear normal pajamas when super-weird ones are available!

I really wanted to get the Princess Leia set with the cinnamon-roll buns on the hood, to match Ben in his Storm Trooper footie pajamas, but they didn't have my size. I suppose it's just as well, since they would have undoubtedly looked extra super ridiculous.

I considered the Batman pajamas, but I figured the velcro from the cape on the back would catch at my hair all the time. Same went for Wonder Woman (who doesn't actually wear a cape, by the way, Target).

The red stripey ones had sock monkeys for feet, and my youngest brother has a mortal fear of sock monkeys. I wanted to be able to wear my new footies when we go visit for Christmas, so I figured I should avoid those ones. As weird and kind of hilarious as his fear is, I know what it's like to be irrationally afraid of something. I wouldn't want him to buy a pet tarantula to get even with me.

The tiger and zebra striped jammies were both just a little too busy-looking for my taste. Stripes are okay, but all things are best in moderation. Add to that the hoods with faces and manes... too much.

Finally, I settled on a simple, light-turquoise pair of footie pajamas.

Complete with owl hood, and wings on the sleeves.

Just bizarre enough!

The hood. I look pretty cute with an owl on my head. 

The winged sleeves (I pronounce it "wing-ed" in my head). :)

I'm grateful that I'm weird.

I'm grateful to have other kooky people encouraging, embracing, and adding to that oddness in my life.

I'm grateful to be seeing those other weirdos I'm related to over Christmas.

And I'm grateful that my little family unit is so close, and that my daughter likes to do strange things with Ben and me. We're raising a totally nerdy little weirdo for a daughter, and I'm absolutely thrilled about it.

More than anything, I'm grateful for all the weirdos and nerds I call family. :)

Thanksgiving Countdown, Day 5: Not the Immortal Jellyfish

Today, I am not grateful for the immortal jellyfish.

That doesn't mean that I'm ungrateful, or that I hate the immortal jellyfish. It's just that I have no strong feelings about it one way or the other.

I am, however, grateful that I know about the immortal jellyfish. Because the only reason I know about it is due to my daughter's passion for knowledge about all creatures, great and small. And I love that she's got such a bright, inquisitive mind. It makes me incredibly proud of her.

A few years ago, we went to the Abilene Zoo. As we were walking through the reptile house, I saw a tank labeled "Basilisk and Bushmaster." When we looked inside, I saw two distinctly different-looking lizards.

I said to Evie and my friend, Juleigh, "Huh. I thought the bushmaster was a kind of snake. I guess it's a lizard."

Evie said, "No, mom, those are basilisks."

"I know that one is a basilisk. But the other one must be a bushmaster. I don't see a snake in there."

Juleigh agreed with me that there didn't seem to be a snake, and that the lizards were so different they couldn't both be basilisks.

Evie disagreed, however.

"Mom, they look different because one is a male and one is a female!"

"Noooo... They're way too different! Males and females of the same species aren't that different."

"MOM! THEY'RE BOTH BASILISKS!"

I knew she couldn't possibly be right, but... well, she knew an awful lot about animals. But what were the odds that she knew more than two grown women?

I decided to google it.

They look totally different, but she was right - both are basilisks

As it turns out, my daughter is much wiser than me when it comes to the animal kingdom. I have not questioned her since.

Another time, she was really excited that her class at school was starting a section on animals. They all got to choose an animal to learn about. She was worried, however, that there would be nothing new to her. She really wanted to learn about a new animal, but there were only so many options the teacher was handing out.

She got lucky, though. There was exactly one creature she had never heard of before.

The mud puppy.

Most mud puppies are not quite this cute.

She delightedly researched it, committed all the facts to memory, and became the leading expert on mud puppies in her first grade class. She also got to see some at the zoo, which made her day.

In May, Evie went with her grandma to the Marine Mammal Center in Sausalito. Since then, she's fully committed to working there as an adult. She wants to study zoology, and marine mammals specifically. She wants to help rescue and care for baby harbor seals, sea lions, and other marine mammals.

Yeah, I really can't blame her for wanting to work with these adorable creatures

And you know? I wouldn't be at all surprised if that's exactly what she ends up doing. She's an amazing, determined kid. And she's always wanted to work with animals somehow. Now she's got a specific plan, and an unwavering determination to make it happen.

My kid is amazing. As we speak, she's telling me all about the medicinal properties being researched in the immortal jellyfish. I don't know where she learns this stuff, but I'm so grateful she's got such a passion for it.

The Immortal Jellyfish (ooooh!! ahhhhh!!)

Thanksgiving Countdown, Day 4: The Call(ing) of the Wild

I know it's late. It's been a long day. But, by George, I'm going to write this post!

I'm so grateful for my church calling.

For those who don't know, I'm the young women's president in my ward (it's what we Mormons call our assigned congregations, which are determined by where we live). I've never been an auxiliary president before, and I was more than a little nervous when the Bishop asked me to accept the calling. Being a president for the first time is nerve-wracking enough, but to be the young women's president, with all the extra activities, and camp, and sleepovers, and trying to teach and lead and inspire teenage girls.... Yeah, I was nervous.

Especially because I'm a huge, embarrassing nerd. Just ask my daughter.

Honestly, though, I was also excited. I've always wanted to work with the young women in some capacity, and I never had before. Yes, this was a big position for my first time working with the youth, but I already knew a lot of the girls in some small way, and I was positive that working with them every week was going to be awesome.

And you know what? It's even better than I thought it would be.

I sincerely love the girls I work with so much. I pray for them, and worry about them, and think about them on a regular basis. I rejoice when they succeed, and cry for them when things go wrong. I see how much incredible potential each one of them has, and it has literally given me chills on more than one occasion. These young ladies will change the world for the better. I have no doubt about that.

And, in some small way, I get to be part of their journey. It's an unbelievable honor.

I truly can't adequately express how grateful I am for this calling. I wouldn't trade it for any other. In a way, each of the young ladies I work with has become like a sister, a daughter, a friend. I love them beyond words. And I'm so blessed to be able to be a part of their lives.

Thanksgiving Countdown, Day Three: I Tease Because I Care

My poor husband is such a good sport. From day one of our relationship, I have teased him mercilessly. It's my method of flirting, you see. Which, when you think about it, probably shouldn't work. Laughing at a guy seems like a good way to make him go away, not hang around for more.

And, admittedly, Ben found me completely baffling at first. He never seemed to know quite how to react. But somehow, he still found me charming. And he proposed after only a week and a half of dating.

Now, after eleven years together, he's less bewildered by my teasing. And he's gotten really good at giving it right back to me. He's learned to speak my flirtation language. He knows that none of my teasing comes from a malicious place. It's like I tell Evie, "I would never tease someone that I disliked. I only tease people that I love. So it's when I stop teasing you a lot that you should be worried."

Ben understands that I tease him because I find him delightful. And he's learned to roll with it, embrace it, even. And I love it when he teases me back, because to me, that says that he loves me and understands me.

Today we had a really fun exchange. I had to go run errands, and he (understandably) didn't want to come with me. I totally get not wanting to run errands, but I told him he was on "my list," which is something I say when I'm pretending to be irritated.

While I was out, he texted me and said that he wished he had come with me. Naturally, I knew that he was saying this because he felt bad that I had to go alone. But instead of going, "awwww," I told him, "You've softened my heart and I've taken pity on you. Maybe I will bring you back a treat."

He wrote back, "My mistress is too kind to her servant."

I was feeling pretty magnanimous.

So, while I was in Kohl's, I found the perfect "treat." It was something that I knew he would simultaneously love and (probably) be slightly embarrassed by. It was my way of saying, "You're forgiven... or are you???"

Mostly, it was to make him laugh.

The Ben of eleven years ago would have been so confused by this little gift. But today's Ben embraced it completely, understanding that it was my unique way of saying "I love you, you big weirdo."

I'm so grateful that he gets me. And that he's such a good sport.

And, most of all, I'm grateful that we make each other laugh. :)

They're storm trooper footie pajamas!!!

Thanksgiving Countdown, Day Two: Craftiness

Today my family and I were pretty productive. We not only took down the Halloween decor and put up the Thanksgiving stuff, we also organized all of our yearly decorations (except Christmas) and found a tidier way to store them. It was a big project, and it felt good to get it done.

After that, though, came the fun. Ben, Evie and I worked together and did some crafting.

The Thankful Turkey, post-surgery

A few years ago we created what we call "The Thankful Turkey." You may have noticed a picture of it in yesterday's blog, back when it still looked really good. It was very cute back then. We made the turkey out of a little box, and decorated it with paint, pom-poms, and feathers.

The whole thing is based on a tradition Ben's family has during this time of year. When we think of something we're grateful for, we write it down and put it in the "turkey." Then, on Thanksgiving Day, we open it up and read all the things we're thankful for.

The turkey we made back in the day was fairly sturdy, except for one thing: its floppy, construction paper neck. It just never was all that good at holding the turkey's head up, and over the years, it got worse and worse.

So, today, Ben and Evie undertook a bit of Thankful Turkey plastic surgery. They created a new neck out of styrofoam, and attached it to the body and head. It looks much better, and much sturdier!

It still needs a coat of paint, but we're waiting until the glue is totally dry.

The wreath I made. I'm rather proud of it. :)

While they did that, I sat next to them and created an autumn wreath out of materials I'd gotten at Michael's for 80% off. (Which was crazy, because why put all the fall stuff on mega clearance at the beginning of November? I realize they want to fill the store with Christmas, but seriously. There's another big autumnal holiday before then. But hey, 80% off! What am I complaining for?)

As we did our little projects together, we talked and laughed and watched web cartoons based on World of Warcraft. It was happy and comfortable, spending that time with my family.

So that's what I'm thankful for today. I'm grateful that I had my family's help in getting the decorations set up and organized. And I'm grateful we were able to spend that quality time together, doing our fun little Thanksgiving projects. Quality time with my two sweeties is always a blessing.

Thanksgiving Countdown, Day One: The Very Best Time of Year

This is sincerely, undoubtedly, unarguably the best time of the year.

Evie's jack-o-lantern

It begins with Halloween season, with the spooky decorations and opportunities to play dress-up. There's candy everywhere, and the occasional fun TV special. You might introduce your kids to Ghostbusters or The Nightmare Before Christmas. You watch them all and feel like a kid again.

Between parties, trick-or-treating, and other Halloweeny activities, you have plenty of chances to wear crazy costumes and makeup. You might even decide to dress up for no good reason at all. This is the time of year that you can get away with it! Who's going to judge? They can't tell who you are under the mask, anyway.

On the bridge in the corn maze

There are corn mazes and pumpkin patches and apple cider. And, if you're lucky, the weather finally cools off! Everything turns red and orange and gold, and you get to pull your sweaters and boots out of your closet and put them to good use. You start to enjoy chilly mornings, hot cocoa, and a fire in your fireplace.

You have lots of frivolous, crazy, silly fun with your friends and family. And it only gets better from there.

Sheldon, Bernadette, Amy, and Leonard

Our "Thankful Turkey"

Immediately after Halloween, we get a month of counting our blessings and being grateful for the beautiful people, things, and moments in our lives. We might start a "blessing a day" kind of thing, like this blog, or write down what we're grateful for in a journal. We start to notice all the little "I love yous" God gives us in our everyday lives.

The weather cools off more (finally highs in the 60s here!), and you may even get some rain! When you do, you're so happy you might just go dance in it, or jump into some puddles with your kids.

Pie-eating contest!

You start making plans for visiting loved ones. As you plan the trips, you start feeling giddy at the idea of seeing your parents, siblings, children, or grandkids. Because, of course, they're the best!

You eat delicious stews and soups. You bake pies, pumpkin bread, cookies, and other treats. The smell of pumpkin, cinnamon, and apples fills the air. Your house smells like love.

You spend time thinking about all the things that bring you joy.

Eating pies: utensils, optional

Then, after a few weeks, it culminates in a family gathering around the table, where everyone eats, talks, laughs, and shares the things they're grateful for. You make new memories together.

This jingle bell ROCKS!

The next thing, of course, is Christmastime. The feeling of joy, goodwill, and gratitude grows. People are more charitable, more patient, more kind. You go out of your way to find people to serve. You might donate to Toys for Tots, or play Santa to a family who doesn't have much. You find great joy in helping others.

Beautiful decorations go up everywhere, making everything seem magical. Everything glitters. There are gorgeous evergreen trees, festooned with tinsel, ornaments, and twinkling lights. Presents pile up underneath, physical tokens of love for the people in your life.

She's snow cute

The scent of cookies floods the house. You spend all your time listening to holiday music. There are constantly Christmas specials on TV, including the ones you watched as a child. The sights, smells, and sounds carry you back to your childhood, and you remember all of the magical Christmases you knew in your youth.

A nativity might sit in a place of honor in your home. You walk past it frequently, and are reminded of the Savior. You spend more time thinking about your loved ones, and how to make them happy. You may also think of how you can better serve the Lord, who gave us the greatest gift of all. And you resolve to do better, and be better, and live better, than you did before.

This whole three-month chunk of the year is magical. It truly is the very best time of the year. And I'm grateful that it's finally here!

The Stickney-Fifield annual nativity

Sabbath Day Thoughts

I haven't written in over a year. I suppose that's in large part due to the "Year of Gratitude" I started last July. I was posting a different blessing every day on Facebook. The posts were like mini-blogs, so that's probably why I didn't bother with this one.

Today, though, I feel like I need to share my thoughts. I don't want to share them to the world at large, though - or even my personal group of Facebook friends. I want to share this with the people who truly care about me. I'll put the link on Facebook, but I fully expect that most of my Facebook friends won't click on it. Only my family, close friends, and those who genuinely care about me the most will take the time.

And those are the people that I want to share this with - the people who love me.

Life is hard. I've gone through trials in the past, and I'm still facing trials today, I don't know that there is ever more than a day or two at a time that feel truly trial-free. We're all constantly struggling through something.

What I've learned, though, is that trials aren't necessarily a bad thing. I used to be so afraid of them. I used to worry about what kinds of terrible things might happen to me, or to the people I love.

And yes, terrible things do happen to good people. I can't even tell you the number of times I've read about a tragedy in the news, or heard about it through the grapevine, and shed tears for the people involved. I find it all too easy to imagine myself in their shoes, and understand in some small way what pain they must be feeling.

Tragedies happen every day. But while every day features terrible lows somewhere, there are also incredible highs.

There has to be opposition in all things. If we were never sick, we wouldn't appreciate what a blessing it is to be well. If we were never hungry, we wouldn't be grateful to have food. If we never knew sorrow, how could we ever truly have joy?

Trials, as awful as they are, can also be great blessings. They shape and strengthen us the same way a blacksmith uses incredible heat to shape metal into something better and more beautiful.

My testimony has grown so much through the trials I've faced over the past decade. Through eight years of infertility, especially - through prayers, and tears, and anger, and hope, and priesthood blessings, and finally learning patience - I have become a better, stronger, more Christlike person. I've developed a personal relationship with the Savior, and a desire to do His will in all things.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I can do anything God wants me to do. All things are possible with Him. And I am willing to do whatever it takes to become the person He wants me to be.

As my faith has grown, I've come to realize that there is nothing this life can throw at me that I can't conquer if I rely on the Lord. No matter how terrible the trial, I can endure. It may be painful, agony even, but I can and will endure with the Lord's help. And I'll become a better person because of it.

I realize that there's an excellent chance that greater trials and tragedies than ever before are coming my family's way. That's how we grow. That's how the Lord humbles us, and encourages us to lean on Him. He sends us trials, then helps us carry the burden. And throughout the process, He helps us become better people. It's through the worst experiences that we gain the most growth, and feel the Lord's love the most strongly. But that will only happen if we allow it. We need to choose to rely on the Lord and recognize the tender mercies He sends our way.

It probably sounds counter-intuitive, that trials will help us grow, but it's true. And, in my opinion, the Lord rarely, if ever, actually makes bad things happen to us. He loves us too much for that. I believe he simply allows bad things to happen. Often those bad things are a result of other people's poor choices. He lets us make bad choices, and He allows the resulting consequences. Then He helps us deal with the fallout, and turn those consequences into opportunities to become better people.

There are, of course, other trials that come our way merely as a part of life. Sickness, injury, natural disasters, etc. - a lot of people choose to blame God for those things, but it's part of living in this world. Sometimes, stuff just happens. But if we trust in the Lord, we never have to face that "stuff" alone.

The Lord allows us to go through incredible trials, so that we can learn to become more like Him. And the more Christlike we become, the more peace and happiness we'll have in our lives. Without sorrow, how could we ever truly learn joy?

I still have so far to go, personally. I'm nowhere near Christ's level. But, looking back at the person I was ten years ago, I can see there's an unequivocal difference. Ten years ago, I was impatient, hot-tempered, selfish, pessimistic, and pretty shallow. Since then, I've learned how to be patient. I've learned how to put my trust in the Lord, and let Him steer the course of my life. I've learned not to worry so much. I've learned to look at the blessings in my life, and focus on the positives. I've learned that I can do anything, survive anything, and become anything if I trust in God.

I've learned that my Heavenly Father and Savior love me more than my mind can ever begin to comprehend. And I will do anything to become the person they want me to be.

The biggest trial in my life now, of course, is that Ben and I no longer believe the same things. We still love each other more than anything else in this universe, but we're not as united as we once were. And it's hard sometimes.

I wish I could give my faith and conviction to my husband, and my daughter,  and any future children we may have. I wish they could know what I know, and feel what I feel. I wish I could share it with all the people I love. But I can only make my own choices. I can't control what my husband does or believes. I can't make my daughter's decisions for her, or give her my own personal testimony.

I want more than anything to be with my family, and with my Heavenly Father, for time and all eternity. But I can't force them to live the way the Lord wants them to live. I can only live my own personal life, and choose those good things for myself.

For the rest, I need to let go and trust the Lord. And I need to remember that He loves my family members even more than I do. He wants them to be with me - and with Him - forever. He's on my side, and He wants the same things I do.

He's a powerful teammate to have. And I know He'll help me to be a blessing to the people I love.

The people we love.

But ultimately, it's up to them to make their own choices. All I can do is pray for them, think about them, strive to help them, and more than anything, love them.

Because I do. I truly love my husband beyond words, beyond understanding, with every aspect of my soul. And I will do anything and everything in my power to be with him forever, even if it means suffering through unimaginable trials.

After all, trials are only for an instant. This life is such a fleeting moment when compared with the grand scale of eternity. No amount of pain we face here could possibly be worse than spending eternity without our loved ones. So, if my suffering here on Earth will lead to my family being together forever, I say bring it on. I will do my best not only to endure, but to endure it well.

My family is worth it. And my Heavenly Father and Savior are worth it. And I will do whatever it takes to be with them forever.

The Lord has a plan for each of us, and He shapes us through our trials, to help us become the people He intends us to be. Our life is a journey toward becoming those best versions of ourselves, so we can have joy, and do the work He needs us to do. If we put our faith in Him, and do what He asks of us, we can literally work miracles. Our trials may be painful. They may tear our hearts apart. They may be agony to our very souls. But they will be for our good.

"My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."

I wonder what the Lord's plan is for me? Who will I be in another ten, twenty, thirty years?

What would I see if I could look at myself through God's eyes?